Manchester City are facing a ban from European competition for the next two seasons after being found to have committed a serious fashion faux pas by wearing their ghastly 3rd kit last night.
The Premier League leaders have also had their last-16 first-leg 5-0 demolition of Sporting Lisbon overturned by UEFA but the decision is subject to appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.
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The independent Adjudicatory Chamber of the Football Fashion Police Body (FFPB) said City had broken the rules by ‘wearing something that looks like it was plucked out of the two-for-a-tenner bin in Sports Direct’.
‘I’ve seen better kits in Sunday League’, UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin told Paddy Power News.
‘It’s so bad, even Jorge Campos wouldn’t wear it’.
‘You know it’s sh*t when even a beautiful looking man like Jack Grealish can’t pull it off’.
‘It’s even worse than that grey monstrosity United wore during the 1995/6 season’.
‘I’m no Gok Wan but someone needs sacking over that’, added the 54-year-old.
Manchester City are said to be ‘furious’ over the ‘prejudicial’ decision and will appeal.
It’s understood their defence will be based upon the theory that only sh*t teams wear good kits.
‘As you can see, there is a direct correlation between wearing proper boss kits and producing sh*te performances on the pitch’, a City lawyer explained to Paddy Power News during a PowerPoint presentation.
‘For example, Arsenal have released 27 mint looking kits this season but are scrapping it out with Wolves and West Ham for Europa League spots.
‘On the other hand, our third kit looks like something you’d buy from a market stall and we’re like 40 points clear of them with 13 games to go.
‘The universe would not be ready for a boss Manchester City third strip. It might even explode in the same way it would if Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his own face or if Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got back together,’ he continued.
‘We must appease the footballing Gods by wearing this “thing” which looks like something your nan would bring you back from a two-weeks all-inclusive in Turkey.’
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*
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