It’s derby day on Merseyside on Wednesday as Liverpool entertain Everton at Anfield with the Premier League title all but wrapped up even before Santa’s arrival later this month.
It’s also a chance for Reds boss Jurgen Klopp to showcase his various touchline routines, complete with facial expressions, to keep the television viewer interested as his team condemns the Toffees to yet more derby day heartbreak.
In an attempt to make the match more interesting for the neutral, Paddy Power has compiled a five-point list of what to look out for at Anfield as we invite you to play Jurgen’s Klopp’s Touchline Bingo game.
PUMP UP THE VOLUME
We start with probably his most common sideline outburst, which usually signifies his side has pulled out yet another last-gasp win deep into second-half injury time.
The very fact that the goal should have been ruled out by VAR is lost on Jurgen as he dances down the field to usually where his opposite number is standing, before unleashing a series of fist pumps as if he’s frantically trying to blow up his bicycle tyres halfway down the descent of Mont Ventoux.
Once reality kicks in that the 12 officials are checking the validity of Salah’s late effort, Klopp tends to follow it up with a casual look around at his own bench, arms outstretched as if to say, “C’mon guys, I’m not a complete t**t”.
SEX WITHOUT THE CITY
Passionate as he may (or may not) be, Klopp has become synonymous with a host of bizarre facial expressions and it’s difficult to imagine one of them not being the German tactician’s sex face.
Only Mrs K can really confirm is this is true and its unlikely that she’ll ever be prepared to spell the beans on what happens behind closed doors at Klopp Towers. It seems to us however, that the Premier League title winner elect tends to look like a man whose been out on the piss and woken up next morning in the same hotel room as Phil Jones.
WE ARE THE ROBOTS
Germany has been synonymous with making ground-breaking electronic music. Kraftwerk where using synthesisers whilst the rest of Europe was still in the clutches of Bay City Rollers mania back in the early seventies and there are times when Klopp, in a nod towards his homeland, looks set to embark of some touchline body popping.
Influenced by Peter Crouch’s trademark robotic goal celebration, sources close to the Liverpool chief claim that he’s, “Well pissed off that a lanky Englishman was the first to perfect this on the field of play”. As the season continues however, we reckon it’s odds-on that Jurgen will be throwing some serious shapes on the side lines as his team ends its 30-year wait for domestic domination.
THE STUTTGART SCREAM
Jurgen Klopp has apologised for that row with Tony Pulis… https://t.co/dFNW65U8KQ #LFC #SCFC pic.twitter.com/o6sfrbSM4n
— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) December 18, 2015
Former Stoke City and West Brom boss Tony Pulis has his detractors in the game but one thing the Welshman has given us is the chance to witness Klopp going postal and having a meltdown in front of our eyes.
Pulis seems like the sort of guy who’d never leave an argument alone and the wily old fox has been in the game long enough to, quite frankly, get on practically everyone’s tits. His famous touchline spat with Jurgen however, led to the German pulling a face so distorted he made The Elephant Man look like Cristiano Ronaldo.
It’s said that Klopp was so distressed when he saw the footage later on Match of the Day that he was unable to look at photographs of himself for at least an hour – rumours that people close to him still refuse to accept as true.
GOING BANANAS
What has been so noticeable this season is just how astonishingly white are Klopp’s molars.
People say his smile can light up a room – and with all the enamel work that looks to have taken place back in the summer, Klopp’s smile could probably keep a whole city alight for at least 24 hours. The way this season is going, we might as well resign ourselves to seeing his beaming grin week after week after week and it’s been doing our heads in to try to remember who Klopp now actually resembles.
A quick trawl through social media woke us up to the fact that some of you were way ahead of the game, when stating that he is now the spitting image of Bingo, the drumming orangutan from the Banana Splits.
Liverpool 1/3, Draw 7/2, Everton 15/2