This week on FTW, we start off with a bit of quality from a man who is very definitely not a w*nker.
That’s right, it’s our very own Andrew Beasley weighing in with a delightful insight on one of FTW’s most regular contributors:
If United's players tried as hard to save Jose's job as Duncan Castles does, they might get somewhere.
— Andrew Beasley (@BassTunedToRed) December 16, 2018
But to what could Andrew possibly be referring?
Well, as if you hadn’t already guessed, Big Dunc’s been at it again.
Jurgen Klopp has been intelligent in schooling his players to play on the edge of English football’s lenient interpretation of the rules. How often do Liverpool win possession off the back of challenges that would not be accepted elsewhere? #LIVMUNhttps://t.co/Ib0VVh8VTF
— Duncan Castles (@DuncanCastles) December 16, 2018
The man is absolutely relentless. And in a way, you have to kind of admire the sheer chutzpah it takes to plough such a lonely and ludicrous furrow.
It seems nothing will stand in the way of Duncan’s one-man defence of the indefensible – not even the collective mockery of several thousand tweeps. Unlike Mourinho, however, he’s long moved on from a defence-only position, having decided to launch an ambitious attacking policy of snidely undermining José’s “rivals”. It’s an interesting tactic, Clive. But will it pay off? Only time will tell.
Still we beg the question: what on earth is Duncan going to do when José inevitably gets the sack?
Anyway, we move on now to a bit of a classic of the anti-Ozil genre:
Ozil lost the ball then didn't fight to win it back. No surprise there. He wants to be a quarterback. Isn't really offering that much going forward either. Totally crowded out by Southampton players.
— Le Grove (@LeGrove) December 16, 2018
In his 20 minutes against Southampton, Mesut Ozil created more chances than anyone on the pitch. If that’s not “offering something going forward”, we’re not sure what is. Oh, and there’s also the fact that he fashioned all those opportunities while “crowded out by Southampton players.”
Still, who doesn’t love a nice easy target at the end of the day? Mesut Ozil loses ball, fails to win it back – absolutely textbook, that.
Over now to Manchester and the Custis Desk where, in between the usual customer service complaints against large corporations, Neil “I want a refund” Custis has been getting a little bit aggro with Manc legend Terry Christian. From what we can tell, it all started when Christian pulled this absolute gem out of the archives:
Still as expert as ever ???? https://t.co/ASg3w6faZg
— terry christian (@terrychristian) December 16, 2018
Ouch. That’s rough on Neil. Still, the man from the Sun can be expected to handle it with his normal good grace…
Oh.
Nobody knows or cares who you are you tit, you do the odd bit on MUTV with your exaggerated Manc accent and think you stand for a generation, you are a joke
— Neil Custis (@ncustisTheSun) December 16, 2018
Okay, Neil, it was just a joke. There’s no need to fly off the han –
And I love Manchester and am proud my kids have been born and brought up here, but I’m embarrassed that people think you represent this great city you prick
— Neil Custis (@ncustisTheSun) December 16, 2018
Neil. Neil! Neil, chill out man.
I didn’t do either you thick twat I was covering other countries in both world cups travelling around the venues, anyway keep proving to everyone what a prat you are
— Neil Custis (@ncustisTheSun) December 16, 2018
Certainly, one of these people is proving what a prat they are, but we’ll keep it to ourselves which one we think that might be.
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