Love Southgate’s Atomic Kitten chant? Here’s five new England chants to try

It’s hard to top Atomic Kitten’s effort, but we’ve picked out five bangers and given them an England twist ahead of Wednesday World Cup semi-final…

Gareth Southgate is well-dressed, well-shaven and well on his way to bringing the whole lot home to England.

There’s no wonder why the English faithful are singing his name from the ruthlessly-assembled Russian rafters to the tune of Atomic Kitten’s finest songwriting feat.

But it got us thinking – what other absolute bangers from the 00s (or earlier) could the English support sing to drown out that bloody brass band?

Look no further.

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Wheatus are one of those bands that got lucky with one tune and then disappeared off the face of prominence, to go and do gigs at Uni festivals instead. They made their money and fair play to them. But now, we’ve found a new use for them. Behold:

His name is Raheem
I have a dream about him
In England’s team
Was born in Kingston, Jamaica
And he outran Usain,
And he got on the plane,
The papers won’t leave him alone,
But he knows that it’s coming home, to England.
His name is Raheem Sterling, baby.
Yeah, his name is Raheem Sterling, baby.
He listens to David Baddiel baby, with me,
Oooh-ohhh-ohhhh-oohhh.

James Blunt is very good at Twitter. He’s very good at little else, but good Jesus his sentiments were clearly meant for the sure-to-be-retiring Ashley Young.

You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life, scored seven goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
Goodbye my lover,
Goodbye my friend,
You have been the Young,
You have been the Young for me.

Remember the opening ceremony when our Robbie flipped off the cameras in spite of potential Russian persecution? Well, he’s back with a bang to honour our Hendo.

And through it all, he offers us protection,
A tackle or interception,
He’s better than Alex Song.
And down the waterfall,
Wherever it may take me,
No, Russia couldn’t break me,
We’ll answer England’s call.
Jordan won’t forsake me,
We’re loving Hendo instead.

It’s not strictly Christmas, but we maintain that if Engerland win the World Cup these celebrations will go on until the Christmas after next for Harry Maguire.

From the corner, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
He’s from Yorkshire, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
From the corner, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
He’s from Yorkshire, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
From the corner, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
He’s from Yorkshire, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
From the corner, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?
He’s from Yorkshire, do they know he’s six-foot-four at all?

Before Declan Rice turned into the pale version of Xavi, Ireland had a different national pride and joy. They were five blokes split between Sligo and Dublin and they sang their little hearts out. This was released in October 1999, but you can shove it if you think it’s not being included.

Everybody’s looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover’s eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you found that special thing
We’re scoring without Ings.  

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