After a disastrous year of political cock-ups – two words for you: Brexit and Trump – we are determined not to make the same mistakes again in 2017, and have turned to a political heavyweight to guide us.
We’ve decided to recruit Nigel Farage, who correctly predicted the results of both the EU Referendum and the US Presidential Election, to revitalise the traders’ approach to political betting.
Part of that will be championing a radical new policy – something he has form for – while also leading our recruitment drive for the Head of Trump Betting vacancy
He has already made wide-ranging changes to our Trump micro-site.
They include slashing the price on the President to serve a second term (10/11 in from 13/8), advocating paying out early on the US building a Mexican border wall this year, and removing all markets on Russian collusion – which he calls ‘Fake News’.
Nigel Farage, MEP, said: “So Paddy Power lost $4.5million (£3.6million) on Trump’s election last year – another example of EU-based idiocy.
“Clearly, they need help – and independence from the anti-Trump narrative that has dogged their thinking recently.
“As the only British politician with a direct line to the Donald – sorry, Theresa! – I’m the perfect man to lead this recruitment intiative.
“For instance, given the Donald’s blistering start to his time in office, I’ve recommended that Paddy Power scrap their impeachment market – it’s clearly not going to happen.”
Spokesman Paddy Power said: “I’m sure the irony of Nigel taking a job in the EU isn’t lost on him, but we’re looking forward to channelling his expertise.
“He’s already made his mark on our approach – here’s hoping he doesn’t resign within a week.”
To visit our Donald Trump betting micro-site, click here.
*UPDATE*
So, yes, this story went out on the morning of April 1st. And some of you went absolutely f*cking mental.
@paddypower @Nigel_Farage got so close to deleting my account then ??
— Quinny (@qmconor) April 1, 2017
@paddypower @Nigel_Farage WORST APRIL FOOLS EVER. seriously shit guys
— Brian Hiuily (@Horsemon12) April 1, 2017
@paddypower @Nigel_Farage Lads I would unfollow if true
?— Alexander Peter (@The_Alex_Peter) April 1, 2017
The thing is, we weren’t joking. Ah, awkward.
We genuinely ballsed up our political betting last year – calling Brexit and Trump horribly (and expensively) wrong.
And when you say those two names, which British MP do you think of first?
OK, yes, probably Theresa May – but second best ain’t bad, eh Nige?
@Nigel_Farage I hope you get a Knighthood. People get an honour for a lot less but you have stuck to your guns for 25 years.
— paul fairhurst (@bunglebeano) April 1, 2017
The announcement certainly got tongues wagging on his social pages.
@Nigel_Farage Make sure you tell them Trump will be impeached, Le Pen will lose and UKIP are getting wiped out in the local elections.
— Rob Perry (@robsukpolitics) April 1, 2017
@robsukpolitics @Nigel_Farage And Rob you will still be a snowflake with false dreams
— Giles -Fawaz out PLC (@1234Giles) April 1, 2017
@paddypower @Nigel_Farage Sneaky bit of business here. Including a better-odds advertisement in your april fools day joke
— J. Bennett (@ReesMoggBlog) April 1, 2017
In any case, Nigel is now the ‘face’ of our recruitment drive for our Head of Trump Betting vacancy, which you can apply for here.