If you’re like us this morning propped up by coffee and more energy drinks than Ryback uses in a gym session just to get you through work, then you too are feeling the Royal Rumble hangover!
We won’t lie it’s hitting us harder than a Goldberg Spear, but we promised you a review and despite our sleep deprived state we are going to deliver.
Last night’s event had more talking points then a Conor McGregor press conference and we’re going to put them all in one place for you. Let’s get on the road to Wrestlemania together…
To be the man you got to equal the man
As fun as the Royal Rumble match was (at times), the WWE World Heavyweight title match between John Cena and the champion AJ Styles was a harder showstopper than a Shawn Michaels Sweet Chin Music!
The leader of the Cenation was chasing wrestling immortally, as a victory over The Phenomenal One would tie Ric Flair’s woo-onderful record of 16 world championships. While Styles was seeking an unprecedented third win in-a-row over Cena.
Well, there’s little more to say about the match other than it was an instant classic and one you must catch on the WWE Network (how much does that cost again?). Styles threw the kitchen sink and then some at Big Match John, but it was Cena who would finally join Flair in the history books by winning an early match of the year contender – in all seriousness, go watch it.
Don’t worry about Ric Flair though, he’s more than cool with Cena equalling his feat. We don’t know how we’d feel about him breaking it however, just ask Phil Taylor – 17 is a hard number to hit.
— Ric Flair® (@RicFlairNatrBoy) January 30, 2017
Orton’s second Rumble win wasn’t ‘outta nowhere’
Don’t say you weren’t bloody warned, our wrestling boffins told you as early as last Thursday to get your money on The Viper to strike!
Randy Orton was the heavy favourite to win it all from the outset and duly came up trumps in a Rumble that promised so much, but was a little lacking in the end.
There was a slight disappointment at the lack of surprises and a Samoa Joe number 30 entry would have saved the day, but we got the Samoan no one wanted in that spot – of course it was that pesky Roman Reigns!
Special shout outs do go out however to Y2J, who gave us the Gift of Jericho (drink it in mannnn) for over an hour, the debuting Tye Dillinger as he entered at a ‘Perfect’ number 10 and the traditional amazing Kofi Kingston jaw dropping survival spot (another great effort).
The first big shock came in the form of Braun Strowman’s early elimination, although he’d thrown out seven superstars at that point. Admittedly though, we were big fans of Goldberg (who looked fantasic) shocking Brock Lesnar again, he just can’t avoid that Spear.
— WWE (@WWE) January 30, 2017
Then we got an epic Undertaker and Goldberg showdown, before The Deadman dumped out the former WCW champion.
With anticipation at fever pitch for the final combatant, it was actually funnier than a Santino Marella promo to see Reigns come out last!
The Big Dog wasted no time getting booed out of the building and dumping out Taker – seriously just make him a bad guy already!
It came down to Reigns (who’d been beaten earlier in the night for the Universal title by Wolfie lookalike Kevin Owens) and Orton for a spot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully, it was that patented RKO ‘outta nowhere’ that gave The Viper a bite at the main event of the granddaddy of them all in the end.
That’s it for now grapple geeks, we’re off for a well-deserved nap to get ready for a rocking Raw tonight! See you tomorrow for the review … zzzzzz…