Paddy’s Diary: Fitting into a Little Black Dress and drinking gravy

Ever wanted an insight into the life of the man himself? Well, here you go...

The big news this week is that I’m on week 2 of the LBD challenge.  It involves not being such a slob, losing a bit of weight, doing a bit of exercise and eating a bit healthier.  Pints are also frowned upon.  The idea is that after six weeks I’ll fit into a LBD, which stands for Little Black Dress.  I’m open minded.  I was assured that I wouldn’t be the only bloke in the classes.  I am.

It’s been a better than average week so far really.  Cheltenham was on last weekend and it’s the first time since 2000 that I wasn’t there.  We used to sponsor the meeting but don’t anymore so I was watching on the telly.  And managed to nearly win loads and not quite do my brains in completely.

Boreham Bill was second in the bumper at Cheltenham on Sunday and I had three different trixies running on to him so if he’d have won I’d have cleaned up…

I was also father of the year last weekend.  I brought my three boys to the Ireland v Canada rugby match.  I knew what to expect to be fair but I actually missed five tries due to buying chips, and bringing them to the toilet….often.  Their highlight was the Mexican wave.  At the end the youngest of them asked me who won.  We won 52-21, pay attention ffs!

If Tracey, my fitness instructor and overlord of the LBD diet is reading this I’m in big trouble.  In fact I hope she didn’t tune into Facebook live on Friday.  As I write this I’m just back from drinking a pint of gravy, as you do.

We kicked off a new thing called ‘Challenge Paddy’ which I stupidly agreed to a while ago.  The first challenge was to down a pint of gravy.  I can’t say I’m proud of myself, but I did it and I haven’t vomited yet, although I have a rotten taste of Bisto in my mouth and my upper lip stinks of gravy and the smell won’t wash off.

My tip for the weekend: It’s not like me to be blindly optimistic but I’m having a good cut at Ireland to beat the All Blacks again tomorrow night and I might even treble them up with Arsenal and Liverpool…..gravy train here we come!

What do you think?