Another lesson in why you should respect the Authority
Triple H kicked off WWE Raw from Tennessee by reminding everyone he’s the King and people should bow down to him. It was the usual spiel about showing respect to the Authority, and how nobody wants to challenge him because they are weak and helpless and they probably enjoy watching Mrs Brown’s Boys and listening to old Dido CDs.
Dean Ambrose, clearly offended by the Dido jibe, marched to the ring to give Triple H a piece of his mind. The Lunatic Fringe spouted out some nonsense about Triple H not being able to beat him, and Ambrose followed it up by demanding a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. The Game responded like you’d expect a female colleague would if you asked her if she fancied going for a drink after work. He shrugged it off and said he’d get back to Ambrose later.
Triple H then decided to throw Ambrose in a match with Alberto Del Rio later on because, you know, why not?
An hour or so later and Triple H’s father-in-law Vince McMahon was on the mic telling everyone about his dysfunctional relationship with son, and people’s hero, Shane O’Mac. Vince was keen to emphasise that he loves his son more than people realise, and the match at WrestleMania was just to teach Shane a lesson. Because nothing says being taught a lesson, like having to face The Undertaker in a Hell In A Cell match. That’s true love.
Taker then made his much anticipated entrance, and was on the show for all of 10 minutes, eight of which were taken up by him walking to the ring. The Dead Man grabbed Vince by the throat, and informed him that Shane’s blood is on Vince’s hand. Then Taker left, and Vince finished off by saying that he’s going to renounce Shane as his son and write him out of the will.
The final match of the night saw Dean Ambrose take on Alberto Del Rio. Unsurprisingly Triple H interrupted the match and ordered a combined beat-down by the League of Nations resulting in a disqualification.
The King of Kings stood over Ambrose and then lay down to hold him close and tell him everything would be OK.
Of course he didn’t. This is WWE. Dean Ambrose surprised Triple H with a couple of slaps, before Triple H brushed him off and gave him a pedigree. That angered The Game enough to grant Ambrose his title match and he headed for the back. Ambrose made some strange grunting noises and thanked Triple H for granting his request, which strangely only angered The Game more.
Triple H rolled up his sleeves (quite literally) and gave Dean Ambrose a battering on the outside of the ring, in pretty much a carbon copy of his beating of Roman Reigns a week earlier.
So what happens next? Shane O’Mac is definitely going to be at Raw next week (Wooooo!) while we wait with bated breath to see what happens between Triple H and Ambrose. Also the New Day lost (booooo) to Y2AJ (A tag-tem combining Chris Jericho and AJ Styles) and have to put their tag titles up for grabs on Raw.
We continue to pray for our unicorn brothers.