Eight years after we first set foot in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros and the continent of Essos, one of the most talked-about cultural phenomenons of our time has come to a close.
As we’ve learnt over the course of 73 episodes, when you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. Oh, and you also get completely enraptured in one of the biggest shows in TV history, only to be let down by a pony finale.
While the last episode may have left fans feeling bitterly disappointed and short-changed – just like Man Utd supporters this season – there’s no escaping what an impact Game of Thrones has had on society in recent years.
So, with the battle for the Iron Throne now over, you’re probably wondering what to do with yourself. Fortunately, we’ve got a few suggestions…
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – APRIL 10: Actress Regina King attends the premiere of HBO’s “Game Of Thrones” Season 6 at TCL Chinese Theatre on April 10, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
1. Stop being childishly afraid of the word “spoiler”
Nothing sends shivers down a Thronie’s spine quite like the word “spoiler”. Even the sound of a White Walker’s footsteps creeping up behind them doesn’t come close to the sheer panic that term causes.
With the final series now safely watched and moaned about, all GoT fans are now able to peruse social media and the internet without worrying that seeing a post about a magical dragon flying somewhere you didn’t expect will ruin your life.
The cast of “Game of Thrones” celebrates the award Outstanding Drama series onstage during the 70th Emmy Awards at the Microsoft Theatre in Los Angeles, California on September 17, 2018. (Photo by Robyn Beck / AFP) (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
2. Change your daughter’s name
Admit it: around the time you believed Jon Snow had finally met his maker, you decided to name your first born daughter Daenerys. Yes, it’s a bit weird given your not-so-secret crush on Emilia Clarke, but don’t worry, you’re not the only one.
While it was quite funny back then, you’re now suddenly realising Daenerys will be a little out of place in the school register, and the burning of a million people has taken the shine off it.
Fortunately there’s plenty of time to change her name by deed poll to something more appropriate like Danielle over the summer, just in time for the new school year.
Getting rid of that “I heart Daenerys” tattoo emblazoned on your forehead will be a little trickier, mind.
LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 20: Writer/producer George R.R. Martin, winner of the award for Outstanding Drama Series for ‘Game of Thrones’, poses in the press room at the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 20, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Mark Davis/Getty Images)
3. Read the books
They always say the book is better, and Game of Thrones is no different? The series of novels the show is based on, A Song of Ice and Fire, comprises some 5,200 pages so there’s plenty to get your eyeballs stuck into.
In this world of never-ending feeds of #content, it’ll actually do you some good to use your imagination to picture your own vision of Westeros and those, ahem, much “ruder” moments.
As an added bonus, as you read along you can also use the pages as tissues. To wipe away your tears of sadness that the show’s finished we mean, you sicko.
4. Get a good night’s sleep
Impatiently staying up for all those US simulcasts and live episode streams in recent weeks will have inevitably played havoc with your sleep patterns.
With your fantastical journey now over, it’s time to get your nut down and have a proper night’s kip.
And you’ll now be able to do that safely in the knowledge there is no longer a Night King intent on slaying you and your loved one before recruiting your soul into the army of undead. Bliss.
BELFAST, NORTHERN IRELAND – APRIL 10: Dragon skulls can be seen on display at the Game Of Thrones: The Touring Exhibition press launch at Titanic Exhibition Centre on April 10, 2019 in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Today sees the debut of the Game of Thrones: The Touring Exhibition which combines costumes, authentic props and majestic settings from all seven seasons of the television series including two never before seen sets, The Winterfell Crypt and Dragon Skull Pit ahead of season eight. (Photo by Charles McQuillan/Getty Images)
5. Stop riding your dog like a dragon
Shy of inventing smellovision to get that musty scent of (pitch black) bloodstained battlefields filling your living room, the closest thing you’ve been able to get to an immersive Game of Thrones viewing experience is riding your very own Drogon during episodes.
The only issue being is that your version is less so a dragon that breathes fire, and more so a Labrador that sh*ts on the carpet. But with the epic now over, it’s time to dismount your loving (and confused) best friend. It’ll save you a fortune in vet fees, too.
6. Write fan fiction
Sad it’s all over? Well, it doesn’t have to be if you own a pen, paper and a bizarre fetish for people cooking human meat pie or sitting on a dangerously uncomfortable Iron Throne. Seriously, how did that thing ever get past the Seven Kingdoms’ health and safety department?
Exactly where you take your very own Game of Thrones is entirely up to you.
However, to get you started, may we suggest a brutal Battle of the Bastards-style fight scene that crosses over with the real world? Specifically the people who decide cup final locations and ticket allocations at UEFA.
We reckon a lot of people would be interested in reading that…
A woman walks past “The Hall of Faces” at the Game of Thrones pop-up bar in Washington, DC on July 12, 2017.
As “Game of Thrones” returns for its seventh and penultimate season Sunday, fans of the award-winning fantasy epic are getting an early fix at a pop-up bar in Washington, complete with a fire-breathing dragon, coats of armor and bartenders who are dressed the part. The unmarked venue, on a non-descript street in the US capital, has laid the decor on thick — revelers make their way through a warren of rooms, each reminiscent of a scene from the wildly popular TV fable. / AFP PHOTO / Mandel NGAN (Photo credit should read MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images)
7. Move on with your life
This may sound quite unbelievable to get your head around, but filling your workplace with talk about fantasy worlds and dragons is pretty boring to most people, whether they admit it or not. With the game now over, it’s time to move on.
Or, if that’s too difficult, simply give yourself on bash on the head to wipe out your memory and start watching it all over again. Just keep it to yourself this time…
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