I’m A Celebrity is returning to the tellybox tonight, at long last. That basically means watching it from the corner of your eye from the couch while pretending you’re not interested in it in the first place.
Oh, but you are. You’re watching those celebrities and hoping they puke, soil themselves or at least get into a huge scrap.
That, or the phoney jungle setting is finally revealed and actually all of the contestants are staying in an Australian version of the Linon Travel Tavern.
Anyway, where was I?
Yes, here’s a preview of each contestant and, ultimately, what you can expect from this series of the show.
OH GOD IT’S FIZ!
As someone who has grown up with ginger hair and a northern accent, I don’t know whether I hate her or love her. But that doesn’t matter, because the former Corrie star has stormed into the top spot in the betting for this year’s show.
She’s the most backed contestant ahead of the beginning of the show, and the general consensus on Twitter is she’s earned that popularity because she’s nice.
Whom is this you speak of?
Not sure, actually. Some young lad who made a career doing YouTube videos – fair play.
He’s Conor Maynard’s little brother and apparently does ‘skits’ and a ‘big banter’ on his channel.
He’s Hollyoaks’ sexiest bad boy – apparently – and has been on the show for over 11 years.
Before heading into the jungle he put himself through a training regime to get hench. If that means we get to see a fight with Amir Khan then I’m all for it. It’ll be cheaper than Eddie Hearn’s pay-per-view bullsh*t anyway.
Yes, he’s the father of one of the biggest weapons in the whole of politics. Only this 77-year-old has much better hair.
The Tory king is heading down under having written a load of books, worked as a politician and for the World Bank.
Plus, it’s fun to imagine Jeremy Corbyn sat on his sofa with a packet of Wotsits, scoffing them in as this lad eats a load of fleas.
The aptly named ‘Toff’ is a Made in Chelsea star.
She’s an open Maggie Thatcher fan and is likely to get on with Stanley. She’s also no stranger to reality television, having recently featured in Celebs Go Dating as well as MIC.
Honestly, at 7/1 she could be pretty good value once she gets used to her surroundings.
Comedian Shappi Khorsandi finds herself a little further out in the betting. It could be because she’s already acknowledged that she’s absolutely sh*t scared of heights.
She’s said she’s up for taking the ‘Mum’ role in the camp, which usually goes down well too.
The former pop star is also fairly far out in the betting, presumably because not many people know all that much about her.
She was in The Saturdays, and is hoping the show gives her the opportunity to show people what kind of gal she is.
Aha. The amount of simultaneous sniggers that occured when Khan was announced as a IACGMOH contestant…
We’re fairly sure plenty of blokes will be watching this just in the vague hope that someone miraculously bangs him out, or that he gets into a brawl with some kind of angry tropical creature.
Unsurprisingly, he’s not been massively popular with our punters, who look to have been finding a reason to bet on absolutely anyone else. Ah well, here goes.
'I want 52000 geordies to ring up every day to vote for Dennis Wise for the bushtukker trials. I for one cant wait to see him eat a kangaroo dick, the poisonous little twat' – JB Nov 17. #nufc #ImACeleb 😂😂😂
— Steph Fox (@StephFox1) November 13, 2017
You know what, there’s really not much to say about him, is there?
Just stick ‘Dennis Wise’ into Twitter or Facebook and have a nosy at what people are saying.
Could be good for a bit of aggro, mind you.
Last in the betting is the wife of Jamie Vardy, Rebekah.
She’s often seen on daytime TV and is apparently Peter Andre’s ex. Who may have given her some insider knowledge on jungle life. Our only other bit of information on her is that she once framed her son’s umbilical cord, so there’s that.