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Celebrity Big Brother: Everything you need to know about last night’s show in one line per housemate

The latest CBB action summed up in one sweet line...

Another evening of CBB madness calls for an update. Here’s one line on each of the housemates.

Jamie O’Hara & Jasmine *aubergine emoji* *water splash emoji*. Jamie said Jasmine was the girl he thought was hottest in the house. Spencer has also been trying to match-make the pair… She said she fancies him too although she’s not sure on a divorced sh*tbag footballer with 3x kiddiewinks.

Angie  Revealed that ELVIS PRESLEY once invited her backstage and asked her for her number, and wanted to snog her. Very interesting and she clearly has some good stories. She also told Spencer he was untrustworthy and she didn’t like him, to his face, which was fab.

Calum – Got really protective over his Mum when Spencer tried to be mean to her. Might kick off.

Ray J – Started talking about his relationship with Kim Kardashian and said they were “both players” aka both sh*gging around. Very interesting, peeps love Kim. He also said that their sex-tape was one of the ‘biggest things that has ever happened’ (as in, to the world).

Speidi – Creating a lot of drama, can imagine people really like them for it. I sort of think they are nutcases.

Brandon – Edited out now, nothing else really happened. Quite looking forward to hearing stories about him off his nut, though.

Bianca – Admitted she snogged Calum once, was talking about Gazza’s struggle with alcoholism which was quite sad & interesting.

Nicola – Cried a lot because she missed her kids. Jasmine said: “But you’ve only been here a day” and she got cross with her.

Stacy – Blah blah moan cry cry. We know something went on with Whitney Houston, we all have Google.

James Cosmo – He’s too normal and sound to be in there.

Coleen – A serial gossip. Could be worse.

James Jordan – Gobsh*te.

Austin – See above.

What do you think?