Snooker’s English Open got under way in Crawley this week and the biggest star in the game blasted the organisers and their selection of venue after finding the facilities lower than his expectations.
The Rocket’s temper took off in a post-match interview following his 4-1 first round win over Kurt Maflin when he said, “I don’t know what this gaff is but I’ve just done an interview and all I can smell is urine.”
And with World Champion John Higgins saying he currently hates the game, the week could be going better for Barry Hearn and co.
— Eurosport UK (@Eurosport_UK) October 16, 2018
While Ronnie might be wondering if someone is taking the piss with the choice of the K2 Leisure Centre for the tournament, we got to thinking about how the authorities might make him feel more at ease in the surroundings – besides a bottle of Toilet Duck and a mop.
Ensure there’s left-handed tin opener available at all times
O’Sullivan’s been known to open the occasional can of worms for snooker bosses with his comments, but he’s still the biggest attraction in the game and pulls punters in for the sport. And he’s been doing it since he first burst on the scene over 20 years ago.
There’s no better example of his incomparable cuemanship than when he switches from right to left-handed play mid-frame, just as he did when he took on Alain Robidoux at the World Championship as a pudgy-faced 20-year-old.
The Canadian didn’t appreciate his youthful bravado though, and dragged out the frame with wild shots and deliberate misses despite trailing by multiple snookers just to let the youngster know he’d miscued with his ambidextrous antics.
Complimentary Nintendo Switch
They call him The Rocket for a reason – and no, it’s not cos some people think he’s on another planet.
He plays fast. So, whenever he met the slower-than-coastal-erosion play of Peter Ebdon, there was always going to be a clash of styles.
But at the World Championships in 2009, noted wannabe-popstar Ebdon hit all the wrong notes with his tedious play and had O’Sullivan firing off from his chair as the minutes ticked but the scoreboard didn’t.
Maybe the Crawley chiefs could ensure there’s something on hand for Ronnie to distract himself with if and when the snooker gets a bit bogged down.
Mandatory referee eye tests
His 2010 quarter final in Sheffield saw him trying to give a helping hand to the referee, thoughtfully suggesting that Leon Scullion might need a trip to the optometrists when they differed over whether there was a touching ball or not.
Surely the English Open bringing in some eye-charts for a quick tune-up of the officials would please the main man?
A wide selection of quality footwear
The five-time World Champ put his foot in it with the powers-that-be during his 2015 first round match at The Crucible by playing in his socks because he was feeling the pinch in a new pair of brogues.
Championship organisers being the good-humoured japesters that they are, would’ve disciplined their most popular player if tournament director Mike Ganley hadn’t offered his own shoes to the cheeky Londoner instead.
Not wearing any footwear would’ve contravened the dress code of the competition, you see, and what’s more important, the best player in the sport or the leather on his feet?
Having a good selection of spare size eights or nines around – there’s a bowling alley in the complex too – could keep him onside for the week.
Have a taxi outside
Sometimes you just have better things to be doing, y’know?