Ok, so you’ve probably seen that we’ve taken the bold step of paying out on Floyd Mayweather beating Conor McGregor in Las Vegas this weekend.
But it’s fair to say that, a bit like Wayne Rooney and lusty grannies, we’ve got history.
Stoke City, 2008
We’ve been paying out early since 2008, when we – misguidedly – settled bets on Stoke to be relegated after the first game of that Premier League season. Sadly for our accountants – but happily for our PR team – Stoke went on to survive, treating the world to a regular ‘are you watching Paddy Power?’ chant.
As it turned out, Potters fans’ delight at proving us wrong is second only to their ravenous joy at the sound of an Arsenal player’s shin being cleaved neatly in half.
Barack Obama, 2012
A more successful payout was processed in 2012, when we settled early on Barack Obama winning the US Presidential Election. In fairness, this wasn’t much of a leap: Obama was up against doddery Christian grandad Mitt Romney and the lovechild of JFK and Mary Whitehouse, Paul Ryan. Obama romped to a second term, and our politics boffins celebrated their foresight.
Jordan Spieth, 2015
Two years ago, we made the decision to pay out early on Jordan Spieth to win at Augusta.
The Wholesome Texan Boy Wonder™ subsequently cruised to a Masters victory, in the process moistening the pants of housewives all across Middle America.
Hillary Clinton, 2016
About a year later, though, the P45s were being chucked around the trading floor at Power Tower like midgets at a Jordan Belfort office shindig. Alas, someone in the building had judged it worthwhile to process an early payout on Hillary Clinton winning the 2016 US Presidential Election.
Clearly, they were applying logic and reason to a nation that, long ago, caved-in to the notion of chaos and megalomania.
Our losses totalled over a million quid, but the US of A appears to have lost its mind.
Most recently, we raised the ire of the normally balanced and serene demographic that is the Scottish Football Fan. In July, we paid out on Celtic to win the 2017/18 Scottish Premiership – before the season had even begun.
Sod it – we're paying out on Celtic winning next season's Scottish Premiership title. #YouBeauty
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) July 4, 2017
Surprisingly, not everyone was happy. But hey, do you blame us? We’re pretty sure Brendan Rodgers could take his men on a WKD-binge in Ibiza every Tuesday and they’d still win the league by twenty points.
Inspired or insane, we love an early payout, and we look forward to blowing our load prematurely on many occasions in the future.