US television and radio audiences have been assured that Donald Trump’s political comeback speech will be available with a Morgan Freeman voiceover.
The former President will make the keynote address on the final day of the Conservative Political Action Conference on Sunday as he looks to stage the biggest comeback since The Undertaker returned to the ’05 Survivor Series in a flaming casket.
In his first appearance since graciously leaving the White House, the 74-year-old former WWE star is expected to declare himself the No1 challenger to face the Democrat candidate in the 2024 presidential election.
However, some media outlets have assured audiences they’ll be spared the ordeal of having to listen to Trump so soon after his election defeat by dubbing him with the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman.
‘If we have to listen to his rhetoric and lies, then at least let’s hear it in the dulcet tones of Mr Freeman’, a CNN spokesperson told Paddy Power News.
‘Our only fear is that Morgan’s voice might entice the people at home to actually listen to Trump’s words – or worse still, believe them’.
‘Maybe we should’ve asked Nadine from Girls Aloud to narrate instead? No one could ever listen to that’.
However, after a little digging, it transpired that such an act was against the Geneva Convention.
Meanwhile, citing it as his most challenging role to date, Freeman told Paddy Power News:
‘I’ve played the voice of God but even that does not compare to the task that awaits me’.
‘I confess, it will take all of my professionalism and resolve not to resort to profanity while relaying the verbal diarrhoea that oozes from the hole beneath that man’s nose’.
In other news, since having his Twitter and Facebook accounts suspended, Trump has spent the past few weeks trying to remember his Bebo password.
The 45th President of the United States smeared the slogan ‘Blog early, blog often’ across the front of his Mar-a-Lago residence using St Tropez fake tan to show solidarity with now defunct social media site.
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