Fathers across our two islands have suddenly become experts on water polo after stumbling across it for the first time on the tele at 2am this morning, it has emerged.
Despite watching only three periods of the Men’s Olympic Preliminary Round opener between South Africa and Italy before falling asleep in a stupor, your Da is claiming to be the sport’s foremost authority.
“It’s like football but instead of using your feet you use your hands and instead of running you swim and instead of 11 players there are 7. But apart from that, it’s almost identical”, your Da explained to Paddy Power News.
“The Italian water polo team is very similar to the football team in that they enjoy a good foul”.
“In fact, they fouled that much, I kept double-taking to see if it was Chiellini and Bonucci bobbing up and down in that pool with blue swimming caps on. There are no offsides either. I’ve seen some players practically leaning against the goalposts the whole game waiting on tap-ins”.
Gary Lineker would’ve loved water polo, the poaching sh*tehouse.
And despite having never watched either side play before in his life, your Da is tipping Spain to comfortably beat Montenegro on Tuesday.
“I was just telling all the lads in the group chat Spain are a sure thing. Get the house on ‘em, I told them’.
“They’re bound to have a pair like Xavi and Iniesta in the middle of the pool dictating the play, doing a bit of Tiki-Taka, aren’t they?.”
Asked if he fancied anyone to win the tournament outright, your Da replied: “Brazil, no question. They always produce the goods on the big stage”.
When informed that Brazil don’t have a water polo team competing at the Tokyo games, your Da snapped:
“Oh f**k off. You’re a bigger smart-arse than that son of mine. Thinks football never existed before the Premier League, he does.”
That Jack Grealish lad wouldn’t have lasted five bloody seconds against Don Revie’s Leeds.
Meanwhile, it’s anticipated your Da will also profess to be an expert on clay pigeon shooting, freestyle BMXing and trampolining before the end of the Olympics.
- Grown man devastated at Football Manager adding womens leagues
- Up, up and away! Paddy Power goes airborne with the flying jockey Sean Flanagan
- Villa allow Smith-Rowe to continue development at Arsenal for extra year
- Paddy’s Rewards Club: Win a trip for two to ANY Premier League game