The Colin Kaepernick Conundrum: 5 teams he could sign with

Think we all know he's decent lads, just sign him or don't

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News broke overnight that the fatwah out on the NFL’s kneeler-in-chief Colin Kaepernick may, possibly, if all the stars align and anyone finds some long-missing testicular fortitude, have lapsed and he’ll get to try-out for a roster spot nearly three years since he last made an NFL appearance.

Though, given he’s been available for many QB-lacking teams to sign up throughout this “controversy”, you’d wonder if this is anything more than the league looking for some vaguely positive PR from a scandalous situation.

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No one’s dared to poke the beast of knee-jerk, snaggle-toothed reaction by giving the former 49er a gig due to his perceived disrespect of “the flag” – think poppies but even more unhinged fervour if you need a reference point for this – and that’s unlikely to change.

Kaepernick’s more likely to turn up as a heel in the XFL than on an NFL sideline any time soon.

But we still wonder what teams right now could do with a competent QB even if he’s in league with Ayatollah according to their fans?

Indianapolis Colts

The Colts have lost two games on the bounce since Jacoby Brissett went down against the Steelers in Week 9 – and one of those games was to the suddenly-untankable Dolphins!

Coach Frank Reich showed with Brissett this season that he’s able to cope with sudden changes at the most important position in the game as Andrew Luck retired days before this season started, but his powers have not extended to career back-up Brian Hoyer. Kaepernick’s a step or two above him and could save Indy’s season if Brissett’s complaint lingers.

Baltimore Ravens

Back in 2017, the Ravens were one of few teams who, according to reports, countenanced breaking the unofficial boycott of the protesting quarterback when Joe Flacco’s lack of a functional spine meant they were sent into panic mode.

You’d have thought having Joe Flacco as starting QB would’ve had them panicking already, but…

Though Baltimore sources have insisted owner Steve Bisciotti did not veto the signing, it was clear at the time that coach John Harbaugh was keen on the move, and, with the direction the Ravens have gone in since with Lamar Jackson, a mobile QB of Kaepernick’s ilk would be a natural fit for the Maryland-based club, even if they’ve got RGIII on the roster already.

Denver Broncos

Brandon Allen is starting for the Denver Broncos. Do I need to say any more?

Ok, I probably do.

That Allen is anywhere near the starting job for this storied franchise says everything about how John Elway as general manager has repeatedly and with vigour screwed the image of John Elway, great QB and football genius, since waving goodbye to Peyton Manning after Super Bowl 50.

Elway also claimed to have offered Kaepernick an opportunity to play in Denver before, which is technically true – he just did it before Kaepernick began to kneel in protest at police brutality and racism in the US – so we know he appreciates the QBs talent, which makes it all the more striking that his Broncos team has cycled through one bad signal-caller after another in recent years without offering this viable option a deal.

TAMPA, FL – NOVEMBER 30: A general view of Raymond James Stadium during a game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Cincinnati Bengals on November 30, 2014 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Bucs are a perennial mystery. They’ve plenty of talent on both sides of the ball but it never seems to add up when football starts.

Maybe the players are spending too much time in Disneyworld?

They’ve now got a coach in Bruce Arians who is famed for working magic with quarterbacks – it was he who turned late-career Carson Palmer into an MVP candidate.

He was supposed to do the same with former number one pick Jameis Winston this season, but Winston seems to love interceptions as much as he does crab legs, and the only reason he hasn’t seen the bench is that someone called Ryan Griffin is his back-up.

Kaepernick would be a perfect project for the wizened old coach.

CHICAGO, IL – AUGUST 10: A Chicago Bears helmet is seen in the bench area during a preseason game against the Denver Broncos at Soldier Field on August 10, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. The Broncos defeated the Bears 24-17. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Chicago Bears

Not sure if you’ve heard, but Mitchell Trubisky is bad at football.

His coach Matt Nagy has surely allowed the moans-and-groans of Soldierfield attendees to penetrate his positive mindset at this stage as the second overall pick from 2017 (hahahahaahhahahahaha) hasn’t just failed to improve this season as the Bears defence regressed, but has actually gotten worse.

If anyone missed his play on the field, they could tell this from the way his coaches have done everything to minimise the chances of him having to do something with a game on the line. They don’t trust him any more and really should be starting the Chase Daniel if they hold any hope of doing something this season.

A better option would be Kaepernick, but it remains to be seen if they, or anyone else, will have the courage to give the man a job.

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