Only 6 more Conor McGregor retirements until Christmas

One a month for the rest of 2020 then...


The countdown to the festive season is well and truly underway after it was announced we’re only 6 more Conor McGregor retirement announcements until Christmas.

The 31-year-old announced his seventh retirement of THE year on Sunday in a Tweet which read: ‘Hey guys, I’ve decided to retire from fighting. Again’’.

‘I know this will come as a shock to many of you but I woke up this morning and noticed there wasn’t a single feckin’ story about me in the news’.

‘This should keep me relevant for another week or two’.

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Ireland’s former two-weight UFC champion has a record of 22 wins, 4 defeats and 1 draw with a drunk pensioner.

It’s understood the former mixed martial artist will spend his downtime endorsing and plugging any old shite.

Meanwhile, with only 6 more McGregor announcements until Christmas, local woman Christine Kringle ordered most of her family’s gifts online this morning.

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‘Means I can just relax and enjoy Christmas this year’, bragged Christine.

In order to let everyone know how super-organised she is, Christine will begin all of her conversations with the question, ‘So, have you made a wee start on Christmas?’.

If this doesn’t adequately panic the person, Christine will remind them how many McGregor retirements and pay days it is until Christmas Eve.


However, in a dramatic U-turn just moments ago, McGregor has announced he’s coming out of retirement because the sport needs him.

‘I’m back baby’, tweeted the Notorious one.

‘During my 4-hour retirement, the UFC fell apart. I owe it to the sport to come out of retirement and have a very lucrative and easy comeback fight’, he added.

The former featherweight and lightweight champion also called out Floyd Mayweather, Hulk Hogan and M Bison, all of whom he’s offered to fight for a paltry $500m.


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