A local lad who claimed to have a top tip for Cheltenham was actually full of shite, it has emerged.
Declan Hazard is a self-proclaimed expert at predicting the outcome of races between large animals with little Irishmen on their backs. The 28-year-old encouraged his mates to put some money on a ‘sure thing’ for the 4.10pm David Nicholson Mares’ Hurdle which ended up with a muzzle full of hedge at the first jump.
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The construction worker shared the tip with his friends in a WhatsApp group chat usually reserved for pornography and “Skills | Goals | HD” videos.
‘Lads, have a tip for the 4.10 tomorrow. Sure thing. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya’, he wrote. However, given Declan’s sketchy track record for supposed ‘cert’ tips during previous festivals, his pals were justifiably sceptical.
‘Who’s the tip from this time?’, quizzed long-term friend, Barry. Another friend, Sean, simply replied with several ‘eye-roll’ emojis.
‘I can’t disclose the identity of my source – but let’s just say his sister’s husband’s mate drinks with the Jockey’, revealed Declan. And so against their better judgement, Declan’s friends placed bets on a 200/1 rank outsider with a man they initially thought was doing sign language.
The group of mates met up at their local yesterday to watch the festival and discussed the various ways they would spend their winnings. While Barry and Sean fantasised about early retirement, Declan was considering getting into the tipping game on a full time basis.
Alas, all the boy’s dreams were shattered soon after as Declan’s tip fell at the first hurdle. ‘I don’t understand it?’, remonstrated Declan. ‘My source said the horse was a dead cert. That’s it, I’m ringing him’, he vowed.
Meanwhile, Barry and Sean vowed never to listen to another one of Declan’s tips again. ‘I know I said this last year and the year before that but I mean it this time – no more tips from Declan.
‘A quick scan of the Racing Post and he thinks he’s f**king John McCririck’, he barked.
‘Donald Trump knows more about politics’, sobbed Sean while blowing his nose into a beaten docket.