Watch: Peter Crouch becomes a jockey and takes to it like a robot to, er, water

Peter Crouch, eh? Footballer, beanpole, podcaster, former virgin, and now jockey.

Yes, you read that right. Here at Paddy Power we’ve only gone and made the lanky b*stard don some silks and throw his leg over a thoroughbred racehorse.

Why? Well, just because. He’s our brand ambassador now, so we can pretty much make him do whatever we want.

And anyway, who wouldn’t want to see a seven-foot-six ex-England international footballer jumping aboard one of the very few beasts we could find that was big enough to accommodate him.

As they say on the internet: #scenes.

To be fair to the big lad, he was a great sport for giving it a go at Windsor racecourse, where he was joined by racing legend Ruby Walsh and professional ne’er-do-well of this parish, Patrick Power.

As you can see, however, it wasn’t all plain sailing for Crouchie.

We’ve signed Peter Crouch as our new Brand Ambassador.

Now we just need some good ideas… pic.twitter.com/g38oXkibAp

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) March 9, 2020