A Liverpool fan has suggested with complete impartiality that the Premier League should follow Ligue 1’s example after Paris St-Germain were awarded the French title.
Earlier this week the French government cancelled the 2019-20 sporting season which prompted the French football authorities to crown PSG champions.
The Parisians were 12 points clear at the top of the table when their season was suspended indefinitely on March 13th.
Chief executive of the LFP, Didier Quillot, said the decision was an easy one:
‘To be honest mate, we could’ve handed PSG the title back in August’.
‘Thomas Tuchel must feel like he’s playing Football Manager sometimes. F**k it, we’ll give them next season’s title while we’re at it’, chuckled Quillot.
But now Liverpool fan Kenny Barnes, who claims to be as ‘down the middle as they come’ is suggesting the Premier League should follow suit.
While the 46-year-old acknowledges there will be ‘winners and losers’ should Liverpool be awarded their first title in 30-years, he also believes it’s the fairest thing to do.
‘I know it’s plausible that 8 teams could still get relegated BUT I think the right thing to do under the circumstances is send the current bottom three into the Championship and certain financial ruin’, claimed Barnes.
‘And sure, Wolves and newly-promoted Sheffield United have perhaps a unique opportunity to qualify for the Champions League BUT let’s be honest, it’s for the best if they don’t’.
‘They wouldn’t have the strength in depth to compete at that level and it would all end in tears’.
The father-of-two was also quick to dismiss any suggestion that ending the season now would also condemn arch-rivals Manchester United to yet another season in the Europa League.
‘Perish the thought’, guffawed Barnes.
‘In fact, if you must know, this is my favourite United side of all time’, he said, while struggling to keep a straight face.
Meanwhile, an equally impartial Manchester United fan, Mani Hucknall, has suggested the Premier League should be declared null and void.
The 38-year-old Londoner believes it’s actually within Liverpool’s best interests if they were denied a 19th league title.
‘Ok, Liverpool are 25 points clear BUT there’d be endless legal wrangles, countless disputes. I’m afraid the only solution is to deprive them of the title. It’s for their own good, really’, he sniggered.