Reports: Downing Street to give it to Big Sam til the end of season

Just the man

Sam Allardyce is keen to take over as Prime Minister on an interim basis, Paddy Power News understands.

With Boris Johnson set to depart amid a series of resignations from his cabinet, Big Sam believes he’s the right man to steady the ship until the next election.

The 67-year-old feels he’s the ideal candidate to rescue the government from their current predicament having saved clubs such as Bolton, Blackburn, Sunderland and Crystal Palace from Premier League relegation.

If appointed as interim PM, Allardyce will make long-time assistant Sammy Lee his deputy with ex-Bolton midfielder Kevin Nolan becoming Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Despite repeated attempts, Ivan Campo has rebuffed Sam’s offer to succeed Liz Truss as interim-Foreign Minister.

However, it’s understood Big Sam faces stiff competition for the PM’s job from Jeremy Hunt, Larry the Downing Street cat and a 1kg tub of Lurpak.

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‘First thing I’d do if I got the job is have a ‘pints of wine and cheese party’ in Number 10 to celebrate’, Allardyce told Paddy Power News.

‘A full English the next morning, then straight down to parliament to sort out this cost of living malarkey’.

‘Have you seen the prices lately? Four quid for Bisto Gravy Granules? Nine-bleeding-quid for a tub of butter?

‘I brought Youri Djorkaeff to Bolton for less than that and he’d won a World Cup’.

Pressed on how he would restore order among the government’s rebellious backbenchers, he said:

‘If I can keep Nicolas Anelka happy on the bench, then a couple of MPs will be a piece of p*ss’.

When quizzed about his own involvement in a scandal which led to his dismissal from English football’s top job, Allardyce replied:

‘We’ll have to wait on the findings of the report’.

*Paddy Power’s breaking football news coverage is 100% fake news*

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