Veteran manager Sam Allardyce has been spotted in a Lancashire quarry downing bucketful’s of freshly hewn gravel, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.
The former Bolton boss is among the favourites to replace Sean Dyche as manager of Burnley, but with a large section of the Clarets’ supporter base opposed to the move, he’s decided to attempt to mimic the long-serving ex-Turf Moor chief.
“As soon as he heard the news he was straight onto his hands-free kit to find the nearest source of industrial masonry,” a source told us.
“As an ex-Trotters and (Blackburn) Rovers boss, he’s always facing an uphill battle with the Burnely fans, though throat that sounds like its being scraped by a a JCB every time he talks might endear him to some if he replaces Dyche.”
Latest reports on how the 67-year-old tactician is faring as he ingests vast quantities are said to be “mixed”.
“Obviously it’s an extremely painful process, but on the other hand, it still tastes marginally better than the relabelled paint-stripper of £3 plonk from Tesco he usually guzzles on a night out.”
And reports suggest his efforts to impress the Burnley faithful will not stop there.
“He’s booked in for a ginger dye and headshave in the morning, and has already visited several local joke shops looking for a fake red meg.”
“There’s even a suggestion he could change his name to Sean Allar-Dyche, though that’s very much dependent on him being given a long-term contract.”
Rumours are already swirling about potential emergency signings for the Clarets’ final eight games should Allardyce arrive.
“Kevin Nolan’s already got his boots down out of the attic,” we were informed.
Burnley play away at West Ham on Sunday chasing a vital three points in their efforts to not be quite as sh*te as Everton.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*
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