The Arsenal bandwagon is undergoing some emergency repair work after its wheels came off in South London last night.
Eyewitnesses claim the bandwagon was ‘cruising along nicely’ when the vehicle experienced a wheel bearing failure at Selhurst Park Stadium.
It’s believed the wheels struck a ‘Pat’ hole in the road as the Gunners were beaten 3-0 by Crystal Palace.
Paddy Power News understands the failure may have been the result of excessive weight caused by overcrowding.
The Arsenal bandwagon was practically empty at the beginning of the season but an upturn in form since the beginning of February saw an unprecedented number of passengers hop on board.
‘Oh dear, oh dear’, said the mechanic whilst shaking his head and surveying the damage to the Arsenal bandwagon.
‘I can fix it – but it’s gonna cost you a top 4 spot plus labour’.
Fans and ex-players of the North London club were forced to make their own way home as the vehicle underwent some essential roadside maintenance.
However, most pundits hopped on board the Spurs bandwagon which just happened to be passing by at the time.
Meanwhile, the Premier League’s ‘top six’ clubs have requested to play all future run-in games against Crystal Palace at a neutral venue following Arsenal’s defeat last night.
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The Gunners follow in the footsteps of Manchester City and Liverpool as teams who had their seasons derailed on a mild spring evening at Selhurst Park.
‘We’d rather play Pep’s Barca than Palace away in April’, read a statement on behalf of the clubs.
‘You see the red and blue stripes and suddenly they’re all Iniestas, Xavis and Ronaldinhos’.
‘The Eagles exist purely to f**k up our seasons’.
‘We respectfully request to play them at a neutral venue. Somewhere we always win, like Goodison Park. That’s a guaranteed 3 points in the bag before a ball is kicked’.
*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*
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