Frank Lampard to conduct random b*llock checks ahead of Everton games ​

Frank is fuming

Everton players must undergo random on-the-spot ‘b*llock checks’ before games, boss Frank Lampard has revealed.

It comes in the wake of Sunday’s FA Cup quarter-final defeat at Selhurst Park where the Toffees were beaten 4-0 by Crystal Palace.

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After it emerged several players had left their testicles on the team bus, a furious Lampard informed the squad they’d be subjected to mandatory checks before future games.

‘You shouldn’t need to be reminded to bring your b*llocks at this level,’ Lampard told Paddy Power News.

‘The last thing I said before we got off the bus was “lads, don’t forget your b*llocks”.

‘Clearly some of them couldn’t hear me because they had those unnecessarily large headphones on.

‘At half-time we were 2-0 down and I asked the players to show some b*llocks on the pitch. That’s when they admitted they didn’t have any.

Frank Lampard Chelsea Rennes Champions League November 4, 2020

‘So, from now until the end of the season, we’ll be asking to see proof of b*llocks before games.

‘Anyone who turns up on match day without their two veg will be dropped from the squad and fined a month’s wages.’

The Everton manager revealed how former boss Jose Mourinho ensured his players always brought their b*llocks to matches.

‘When I was a Chelsea player, I always remember Jose telling us to keep our b*llocks in our little Louis Vuitton man-bags when travelling to games,’ he added.

‘It’s that kind of attention to detail that set Jose out of from the rest.’

The 43-year-old also let slip that all random b*llock checks will be carried out by his assistant Duncan Ferguson.

Goodison Park

‘Duncan’s the proud owner of five testicles and he’s never forgotten to bring one of them to a game in his career,’ Lampard told Paddy Power News.

‘I’ve seen him offering to lend certain players a b*llock or two before games.

‘One time he offered the entire first-team his spine. That’s the type of man he is.

‘But it’s time to stop the mollycoddling’.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*

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