Ed Woodward receives 427 customer complaints on first day in new drive-thru job ​

Ed, you're cleaning the McFlurry machine. Forever.

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Ed Woodward received a whopping 427 complaints on his first day working at a Manchester fast food outlet, it has emerged.

Hundreds of patrons reported being dissatisfied with their level of service as the 50-year-old oversaw operations at the burger joint’s Drive-Thru hatch following his recent departure from Manchester United.

Among a litany of complaints, customers bemoaned Woodward’s inability to process simple orders and his tendency to haggle over set prices.

It was Woodward’s first day in the job having stepped down as Manchester United CEO after eight and a half successful years of destroying the club beyond recognition.

Many disgruntled customers took to social media to vent their frustration.

‘Ed got my order completely wrong’, tweeted a Portuguese man using the handle @JM63_Spec1.

‘I gave him precise instructions but when I got home and opened the bag there was a McFred inside’.

‘What am I supposed to do with this?’, he quizzed.

A Norwegian customer claimed he lost his PE teaching job after an unusually long wait on a McChicken Sancho.

‘All I wanted was a plain Chicken Sancho’, wrote the 48-year-old.

‘I was told to go and wait in Grill Space 1’.

‘Two years later, Ed knocked on my window. He apologised for the wait and even put a free McFred in the bag for my trouble’.

Ole-Gunnar-Solskjaer-&-Fred-&-Pogba

‘But by the time I got back to work, some of the kids had destroyed the changing room’.

‘The school fired me. Plus, my Chicken Sancho was cold. Worst day ever’.

The final straw came when Woodward contacted staff members working at several other local branches of the fast-food chain and encouraged them to open their own breakaway restaurant.

He was informed of the company’s decision to let him go almost immediately after he’d cleaned their ice-cream machine singlehandedly.

Discussing the sacking with Paddy Power News, Woodward told us:

‘Sure, people complained in their hundreds about my ill-fated tenure at the helm of the Drive-Thru but just think of all that internet traffic I directed their way’.

‘Oh look, #EdMcDickhead is trending in Salford right now’, he added.

*Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news, and that’s the truth – honest*

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