Ed Woodward is set to offer Manchester United’s caretaker boss Michael Carrick a 10-year deal – and then sack him at Christmas, Paddy Power News can reveal.
The 50-year-old is so impressed by last night’s 2-0 victory over Villarreal in the Estadio de la Cerámica that he’s decided to hand Carrick the full-time manager’s job until December when he will be dismissed with a hefty pay-off.
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Woodward believes the appointment of Carrick is in keeping with ‘the United way’, which is ‘jobs for the boys’ irrespective of their experience or suitability.
‘Michael has a proven managerial track record, with a 100%-win ratio spanning over one game’, Woodward told Paddy Power News.
‘His appointment on a 10-year contract will bring stability to the club until I inevitably fire him in a couple of months’ time’.
‘Michael will be my sixth managerial sacking in 8-years. SIXTH. Wow. Let that sink in’.
‘I would also like to take this opportunity to ask Steve Bruce to stop ringing my house at 3am. The position is taken, Steve. Get over it man!’.
The announcement brings to an end United’s search for an interim manager following reports the club had held talks with former Barcelona boss Ernesto Valverde.
Paddy Power News understands Woodward pulled out of discussions after realising he’d mistakenly offered the job to Tony Mobwray instead.
Meanwhile, Michael Carrick said it’s a ‘dream come true’ to be appointed manager of Manchester United and he cannot wait to be relieved of his duties come Christmas.
‘I cannae believe it, pet. I’m still pinching me self’, said the 40-year-old.
‘There’s a long-term strategy to get United back to where they belong. It’s just a shame I won’t be a part of it because Ed will be waving my P45 at me before the Boxing Day fixtures’.
The former United midfielder also claims to know how to get the best out of summer signing Jadon Sancho.
‘I believe we’ll see the best of Jadon if he’s actually on the pitch’.
**Paddy Power’s breaking news coverage is 100% fake news. And that’s the truth.**
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