Ahead of England’s clash with Andorra this weekend, Harry Kane has admitted his excitement at finally being able to link up with his “real mates”, Jack Grealish, Phil Foden, John Stones and Raheem Sterling.
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The striker who is currently a Spurs player in body but a Man City player in spirit has opened up to the media about his WhatsApp group chat with the players from City, the sadness he faces when he wakes up each morning knowing he has to train alongside Oliver Skipp and Harry Winks, what he does to escape reality and why he’s decided to stop running altogether.
“In my mind, I play for Man City. We’ve won seven out of seven games, sit top of the league, I’ve scored eleven goals, am best mates with Noel and Liam Gallagher and own a banging parka jacket,” Kane told the press.
“Every time I zone back into reality, we are always 3-0 down in a London derby.
It’s insane how this keeps happening. Have you ever seen the movie Inception? I’m like Leo in that. I’ve created my own reality in a dream, and I am f*cking loving it.
“Forget what you see on the pitch at White Hart Lane as that isn’t me – the real me is scoring goals at the Etihad in front of three or four fans, winning player of the month and all that jazz.”
When asked if he thinks his behaviour could be perceived as unprofessional and at risk of damaging any future chance of joining Man City outside of his mind, he responded in a confident and optimistic manner.
“I’m in a WhatsApp group chat with my real mates and they’ve assured me the move is on. The less I do for Spurs and the lower I get my price tag, the easier the transfer will be.
“Pep reckons Levy will be paying him to take me away if I carry on at this rate, so I am doing well.
“If you think I’ve been sh*t so far, you wait until I really stop trying. I’m going into proper relaxation mode, bringing a deckchair and newspaper onto the pitch, the lot.”
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