Several fans of the popular computer game Football Manager have been left devastated by the news that the developers are adding more leagues – including womens leagues – to the game’s database.
The news broke on Thursday evening and was greeted by a wave of cryw*nking that put Marvel fanboys to shame, with early reports suggesting there hasn’t been a bigger collective meltdown on Twitter since a talking blue hedgehog wasn’t deemed believable enough by a bunch of 38-year-olds who still live with their mums. Spot flooding was reported in several areas such were the tears shed at the announcement.
It was also believed initially that the servers of Sports Interactive, the game’s makers, were under DDOS attack from disgruntled hackers following the announcement, but the company now believes many of the upset gamers logged on to play the game EVEN MORE to console themselves following the announcement.
As one distraught fan put it: “I just want to make the most of the time we have left, before they ruin this beautiful game forever.”
And one irate gamer turned up at the offices of the game developer this morning to burn their laptop and cup finals suit on the steps of the building in protest.
While some may assume that the wave of outrage was prompted by the fact that the most in-depth conversation many of those upset have had with a woman is with the lady behind the counter in the local chippy, several heartbroken fans of the game have claimed it’s actually about standards in video game making.
Our commitment to the multi-year project to include the women's game into our series. https://t.co/N4GQkVsLuX
— Football Manager (@FootballManager) July 22, 2021
Billy Nomates, 33, spoke to Paddy Power News to explain why the addition of women’s football to a computer game caused so much pain to so many people.
“It’s difficult to talk about, but it’s just the thought of the game engine missing out at the expense of adding these leagues.”
“It breaks my heart.”
“When I see the loading page take that split-second longer, I’ll always wonder ‘is that cos they added yucky girls?'” he confessed through sobs, before roaring:
“Cherno Samba didn’t give his life to this game so they could leave crappy graphics in there – this game still looks like f**king Tron mate. TRON. That’s older than me ffs!”
He then declared it to be the “Worst. Game. Ever.”and hung up.
Further contact with the distraught Football Manager fans revealed that several plans are in place to undermine the new developments.
There is already a nascent community of “#NeverFM22” community online following the announcement, with members vowing to never purchase another copy of the game as long as there are women’s leagues included. While others are already working on code to remove the new leagues and competitions as soon as the latest version of the game is released.
Those affected by the announcement should contact their local support services. Or, y’know, get a life.
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