With Tom Cruise on telly more than Paddy McGuinness recently, Paddy Power News has been doing some digging into the real reason everyone’s favourite Scientologist is cropping up at any sporting event you can think of.
The Hollywood A-lister has been spotted at some of this summer’s biggest sporting events over the past few weeks – on centre-court at Wimbledon, then at the Euro 2020 final at Wembley, then he was in the Mercedes garage at Silverstone last weekend, prompting speculation that a Days of Thunder sequel was in the works – don’t expect Nicole Kidman to show up in that one.
And reports suggest he’s already been tackled as he attempted to secrete himself away in the Olympic stadium in Tokyo ahead of the games, just so he could get his mug on TV there too.
However, our sources can reveal that he’s actually trying to cast a reboot of the 80s hit TV cop show Miami Vice – with some of the world’s biggest names in sport on his hitlist of possible stars.
Having watched some of England’s group games in Euro 2020 and the reaction among fans, Cruise was “blown away” saying several of the Three Lions’ squad were “wasting their time playing soccer – they should be in Tinseltown making real dough”
Following the Wembley final, Cruise reportedly abseiled into the Three Lions dressing-room through a ventilation shaft having kicked the a*ses of several ticketless yobs just to commiserate with Gareth Southgate’s men, before picking out a couple of players that he would be keen to do a read-through, with the latest photographs on Dominic Calvert-Lewin’s Instagram page suggesting he’s got a part nailed down,
The movie star had also taken note of Raheem Sterling’s acting skills against Denmark in the semi-final, though Harry Maguire’s stern, unmoving brow was deemed “too stiff” in his casting call. Cruise was also told it would take at least 8-hours in make-up each day to make the centre-half’s head look approximately the same size as everyone else’s on the show, ending Slabhead’s Hollywood dreams – at least until they make that Easter Island movie.
However, Jack Grealish is expected to take up a role as a calf-double for any scenes that involve a shot of a character’s lower extremities such is the shapely appeal of his muscles.
And one player that certainly won’t be featuring is Liverpool skipper Jordan Henderson, who was overheard at the post-match dinner saying: “No way I’d be seen dead wearing a pair of espadrilles,” a sly dig at Don Johnson, who was solely responsible for men walking around UK city centres on a Saturday night wearing cloth shoes that were impossible to remove beer stains.
Henderson also objected to filming scenes with a pet alligator. “Honestly, Bobby Fermino’s shiny choppers scare me enough, no way am I going near a thing with teeth like that,” he’s reported to have said.
Cruise’s visit to Wimbledon had similarly mixed results, where he hoped to grab some time with former champion Andy Murray and assess his potential for a role, but after having listened to him giving a motivational speech in the member’s enclosure beforehand, he apparently shelved the idea claiming that he: “couldn’t understand a word that f**king guy said.”
Though his Silverstone trip may still yield results. “I think Lewis (Hamilton) and Max (Verstappen) have the perfect chemistry to pull off the Crockett and Tubbs’ roles,” Cruise told aides at the British Grand Prix on Sunday as the two crashed into each other.
“That’s just the kind of passion I want to see in these guys” he said, “though they might have to take a pay-cut if they want to be in the show.”
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