The first minister of Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, has confirmed Monday 19th July 2021 will be a National Holiday for the country, as way to honour their success at Euro 2020.
With Scottish fans taking to the streets of Glasgow, Edinburgh, and Aberdeen in their droves late on Sunday night following England’s penalty shootout defeat to Italy, Sturgeon has proudly announced that the defeat for England has “put Scotland firmly on the map”.
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“Nobody would have thought wee Scotland would be winning the Euros, but somehow we’ve done it. The moment Saka’s penalty was saved, I felt William Wallace’s adrenaline pump hard through my veins, I heard the Proclaimers 500 miles in my head, and I mouthed, word for word, the Choose Life opening sequence of Trainspotting. I knew our time had come.
“So, I painted my face blue and white, put on my kilt, necked an Irn Bru, got on my horse and rode straight down to Boris Johnson’s house and told him to go f*ck himself,” she told Paddy Power News.
“We were already on cloud nine having beaten England 0-0 at Wembley a few weeks back anyway, so for us to beat England on penalties in the final shows true character, courage, determination, grit and passion.
“Georgio Chiellini will be given the freedom of Scotland and presented with a commemorative set of bagpipes should he ever visit.”
As for England, it was yet more heartache at a major tournament, with one tearful fan claiming, “I really thought it was going to be our year. I mean, I thought 2018 was going to be our year, as I did in 2006 and 2002, 1998, 1996 and probably as far back as I can remember. But this time felt different, I really, really, really, thought it was going to be our year.
“Roll on World cup 2022, I’m convinced that, in fact, will be our year.”
For England, the bad news didn’t stop there, with the Queen officially cancelling Sir Gareth Southgate Day which was due to take place annually on 11th July.
Her Majesty had implied that an England victory would have been honoured with a day named after the once-popular and much-loved England manager, however, upon nursing a nasty red wine hangover and with the painful defeat at the forefront of her mind, Queeny opted to send Southgate a Pizza Hut voucher, a paper bag and the clown face emoji via Whatsapp.
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