Manchester United’s outgoing executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has performed an astonishing u-turn by declaring: ‘I’m not f**king leaving’.
Paddy Power News understands Woodward held an impromptu meeting at United’s Carrington training base following the Europa League final loss this morning during which he signalled his intention to remain at the club.
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Many staff assumed the 49-year-old would be delivering his usual end-of-season address as he stood before them clasping a microphone.
But no one could’ve predicted what was about to unfold.
‘I’m not f**king leaving’, screamed Woodward, whipping the ecstatic office staff into a frenzy.
‘This is my home. They’re gonna need a f**king wrecking ball to take me outta here’, he added amidst scenes of pandemonium.
Woodward previously announced he’d be leaving his role as executive vice-chairman at the end of the year after eight successful years of destroying the club.
However, the former investment banker changed his mind following United’s Europa League heartbreak against Villarreal on Wednesday night.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s side were sunk by the Yellow Submarines in Gdansk after David De Gea conceded 10 spot-kicks – and looked set to allow 40 or 50 more – during a penalty shootout, until he missed his own.
‘It’s clear my work here is not done’, Woodward told PPN.
‘The first thing I did last night after the shootout was contact Marouane’s (Fellaini) agent to see if we can get him back to Old Trafford this summer.
‘We’ll be submitting a formal bid as soon as the fax machine repair man arrives. Bloody thing is on the fritz again’.
The news was greeted with widespread relief among supporters of rival clubs who were keen to see Woodward remain at the helm as long as possible.
#WoodwardAndGlazersIn was trending on Twitter and PPN understands rival supporters were planning on staging protests outside Old Trafford if Woodward followed through with plans to relinquish control at the end of the year.
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