Haaland duped into signing United contract by Solskjaer in disguise

Erling Braut Haaland has been tricked into signing for Manchester United by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer after the Red Devils boss posed as an autograph-hunting assistant referee, Paddy Power News can exclusively reveal.

Following Borussia Dortmund’s 2-1 defeat by Manchester City in the Champions League quarter-final first leg, one of the match officials followed Haaland down the tunnel and appeared to ask him to sign a red card which he produced from his top pocket.

However, as soon as the Dortmund striker disappeared into the visitor’s changing room, the assistant referee removed a Scooby Doo-esque rubber mask to reveal his true identity – United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

The cackling 48-year-old Norwegian then slowly unfolded a signed legally binding contract that had been printed on red paper.

Ole-Gunnar-Solskjaer

Manchester United announced Haaland’s signing this afternoon on their official website in a statement reading: “We are delighted to announce the signing of our new striker Erling Braut Haaland who joins the club on a 15-year deal.

“Erling joins United in a swap-deal with Borussia Dortmund which will see a crate of Vimto move the other way.

“As part of the deal, Mino Raiola will receive a £20 gift voucher for the Manchester United megastore which expires on 8^th April 2021.”

United boss Solskjaer said the acquisition of Haaland was a major coup for the Old Trafford outfit and another signal of intent by the club.

“When you’re a sneaky b*stard to sign players like this, that tells you we’re going places,” he said.

Meanwhile, super-agent Raiola has vowed vengeance following the controversial move.

Eyewitnesses claim they saw the 53-year-old outside Old Trafford shouting: “You may have won this time United. But I’ll be back with Pogba in July. Just you wait and see.”

In other news, United supremo Ed Woodward is rumoured to be plotting a double-swoop on West Ham to bring David Moyes and Jesse Lingard to Old Trafford this summer.

The CEO has identified the pair as the right men to restore United to their former glory and is said to be lining up a 6-year-deal for long-term target Moyes.