Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has recruited a specialist vocal coach to improve his team’s efforts at distracting opponents, it has been revealed.
The move comes after Andy Robertson’s squeals failed to put Mason Greenwood off his shot before Man United’s first goal in Sunday’s FA Cup tie. The Scotland full-back was caught out of position by a raking crossfield ball from Marcus Rashford which forced the defender into a desperate scream as a last-ditch measure to avert United’s equaliser.
Unfortunately, his efforts sounded more like your mum when she sees a spider in the bath than the fearsome battle cry required to shake the striker’s aim and failed to prevent a United goal.
Now, in an effort to improve their defence and build up their vocal cords, the league champions have a recruited Dr Henk Hornsmuller of the University of Zurich’s Department of Auditory Studies to advise them on their defensive shouting technique.
“Henk’s a great guy, I couldn’t scream in fourth officials’ faces as loudly as I wanted to before I met Henk.” the Liverpool boss said today.
“And my booming laugh that makes people like me even when I’m being a dickhead? It’s all down to Henk too,” the 53-year-old confessed.
The Swiss swami of sound vibrations, who specialises in yodel research, has already been working with the team via remote meetings already.
“The boys have really gotten into it so far,” a source confirmed. “Mo and Sadio were screaming at each other all through training to ‘pass the f**king ball’. You could hear the difference already.”
Though the only sound that comes out of Bobby Firmino’s mouth is a long sigh, just like he’s missed another sitter.
And, according to those inside Anfield, the team had been shown a series of videos to practice exercises ahead of their showdown with Tottenham on Thursday night.
They feature the bloke from the Go Compare ads, Dom Joly on his phone, and Macho Man Randy Savage clips on Youtube, with the players being encouraged to mimic the recordings during training.
“Takumi Minamino’s constantly shouting down his phone – though he’s probably just pissed off at his agent as he still can’t get in the team.
“And James Milner’s going around in a sequined cowboy hat and roaring ‘OOOH YEAAAAHH’ whenever he completes a pass. It’s really weird.”
We’ve also received reports that Tottenham’s coaching staff have supplied ear-plugs to their players in advance of the fixture as a countermeasure.
“It’ll make communication in the pitch more difficult for sure,” a team member confirmed. “But we all just kick it up to Harry anyway, so it’s not that much of a problem, really.”
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