A local man is still trying to decide whether he should spend his Sunday evening watching the FA Cup tie between Manchester United and Liverpool or a freshly painted wall dry. 39-year-old Benjamin Moore made the common mistake of believing the pre-match hype surrounding last weekend’s customary drab contest between England’s fiercest rivals.
Despite being billed as the biggest ticket the Premier League has to sell to a global audience, clashes between the pair tend to serve up the same levels of excitement usually reserved for prolonged dental treatment.
And so, immediately after last Sunday’s piss-poor showing at Anfield, Benjamin declared he’d rather watch a freshly painted wall dry than endure another 90 minutes of football involving both clubs. Upon hearing this, Benjamin’s wife seized an opportunity and demanded he redecorate their spare bedroom this weekend.
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Paddy Power News caught up with Benjamin at his local hardware store today where he was purchasing some paint and brushes.
“Do I mind missing the game? Na”, said Benjamin rather unconvincingly while studying a colour chart. “I’ve been meaning to give that room a lick of paint for ages.”
“We fall for the hype every time. The week-long build up. The heated studio debates. Carefully edited goal montages set to emotive songs that make you want to beat your chest and growl like a silverback gorilla in mating season.
“But 15 minutes into the game we realise we’ve been duped again, and you’d rather be watch an episode of Gardeners World narrated by David Cameron. So, you and the rest of the sheeple can tune into the game on Sunday night.”
“I’ll be watching the solvent portion of this magnolia paint evaporate instead”, he grinned while spinning a roll of masking tape around his index finger.
Meanwhile, with extra-time and penalties an eventuality on Sunday, BBC have confirmed that viewers can keep themselves awake by dispersing bursts of oxygen into their living rooms using the red button.
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