Vince McMahon to offer Xhaka WWE contract after impressive chokeslam

Get the trunks and baby oil ready, Granit.

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Vince McMahon is hoping he can persuade Granit Xhaka to join the WWE after being impressed by the Arsenal midfielder’s chokeslam technique.

The wrestling mogul watched Xhaka perfectly execute the manoeuvre during Arsenal’s 1-0 defeat at the hands of English giants Burnley.

VAR replays showed Xhaka hoisting Burnley midfielder Ashley Westwood into the air by the throat before slamming him onto the Emirates turf.

McMahon, an avid Burnley supporter, was so amazed by Xhaka’s execution of the powerful manoeuvre that he reached out to the 28-year-old’s representatives after the game.

Vince McMahon 2012

“The WWE has had some great proponents of the chokeslam down the years,” the 75-year-old told Paddy Power News.

“The Undertaker, Kane, The Big Show – to name only a few. But none of them come close to Granit’s exquisite technique.

“Look at how he starts off with a single-handed choke before slamming Westwood onto the pitch. Braun Strowman would’ve been proud of that one.

“If Xhaka joins the WWE I’ll give him a title shot at Wrestlemania 37.”

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When asked if he had any particular gimmick in mind for the Swiss international, McMahon said: “You’ve seen The Rock. Now meet ‘The Granit’. The hardest man in the Arsenal dressing room.”

However, the news regarding Xhaka’s WWE arrival was greeted with universal dismay by grown men who still take wrestling seriously.

“This is even worse than the time Vince tried to convince us that Kai En Tai castrated Val Venis with a samurai sword,” tweeted some 40-year-old fella wearing a ‘Hulk Rules’ t-shirt.

“I’d rather Vince did another Hornswoggle storyline than sign Xhaka,” commented another.

Mikel Arteta Arsenal Dundalk October 29, 2020

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Meanwhile, Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta said the club are resigned to losing their skipper but have made enquiries about a potential swap-deal involving WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair.

“Ric’s got bags of experience and at 71 his best years are still ahead of him,” Arteta said.

The 21-time champion took to social media to address the rumours surrounding a move to The Emirates in a tweet reading:
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

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