Pundits Rio Ferdinand and Paul Scholes are just 39 scapegoats away from blaming Ole Gunnar Solskjaer for a Manchester United defeat.
The Norwegian came under fire from fans last night despite successfully steering United into the Europa League following a 3-2 defeat to RB Leipzig.
But Ferdinand and Scholes refused to point the finger at their former teammate, attributing the defeat to a combination other factors including poor defending and Bill Gates.
‘People will criticise the manager ‘cos he’s the one who picks the team but there’s nothing the manager can do about a goalkeeping error like the one from De Gea or the possibility Bill Gates might be using 5G phone masts to control the minds of his players’, argued Ferdinand.
Meanwhile, his co-pundit Paul Scholes also refused to criticise the United boss, directing his ire at Harry Maguire and Brexit instead.
‘Ole will be absolutely furious with Maguire for that third goal. I dunno what he was thinking there.
‘The players look like their minds were elsewhere tonight. Maybe it’s the whole uncertainty over Brexit? The customs union, the ‘Back Stop’. It’s keeping me awake at night anyway. That’s for sure’.
As a result, statisticians now believe the BT sport pundits are less than 40 scapegoats away from admitting Solskjaer’s tactics were shite.
"He bottled it. He was scared of getting himself hurt."
"He makes himself smaller, it's criminal."
Paul Scholes was not impressed with David De Gea's goalkeeping for RB Leipzig's third goal. pic.twitter.com/Iyd7GKZlBr
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) December 8, 2020
Dr Steph O’Scope, Head of Research at the Institute of Silly Football Studies, told Paddy Power News:
‘Our findings show that Rio and Scholesy are rapidly running out of people to blame for piss-poor United performances’.
‘At first it was Ed Woodward and the Glazers. Then they fingered Fred and Martial’.
‘Most recently the blame has been attributed to global warming, the Trump administration and the Steps reunion tour announcement’.
Meanwhile, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer admits he may have got his tactics wrong after last night’s Champions League exit in Germany.
‘We went for a tried and tested method of playing absolutely shite in the first half and trying to turnaround a three goal deficit in the second’.
‘Unfortunately, we didn’t get the required amount of penalties or favourable VAR decisions on this occasion’, he grinned.
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