When it comes to transfers, Ed Woodward is the ultimate window shopper.
And with another transfer window about to slam shut and Manchester United, once again, missing out on their main target, we’ve decided to pay a special tribute to the club’s chief executive.
We’ve revealed a shop front in Manchester celebrating his penchant for looking at high-end purchases, before instead throwing money at an ageing attacker that could have been signed much earlier.
The shop which is on Clarence Street in Manchester city centre, is dubbed Woodward’s, and features tongue-in-cheek descriptions of why the club failed to sign each target.
Beside Gareth Bale, who was repeatedly linked with an Old Trafford switch from Real Madrid before eventually returning to Tottenham last month, it reads: ‘Approached. Rejected. Missed out. In that order’, mimicking his famous Wales, golf, Madrid flag.
The shop also invites customers to visit their sister store, ‘Ed’s Panic Buys’, for more last-minute purchases – with South American forwards currently stocked.
Jadon Sancho, Jack Grealish, Erling Haaland and Paulo Dybala all feature, as does Thiago Alcantara, who opted to move to Premier League champions Liverpool instead of United. Next to the midfielder it says: ‘Award-winning Spanish model. Sold to more attractive buyer. Third purchase opportunity unlikely.’
Unfortunately for United fans, we’ve got no doubt the store will be ‘busy’ again come January.
WINDOW SHOPPING MODELS
Jadon Sancho: Shipping from Dortmund. Auction deadline passed. Please stop calling.
Erling Haaland: Stunning new Scandinavian design. Agent handling fees not included. Will only increase in value.
Paulo Dybala: Premium Argentinian design. Goes well with silverware. Could take years to import.
Jack Grealish: Made in Birmingham. Staying in Birmingham to protect reputation.
James Maddison: Cash buyers only. For further enquiries, contact Brendan in Leicester.
Thiago: Award-winning Spanish model. Sold to more attractive buyer. Third purchase opportunity unlikely.
Gareth Bale: Approached. Rejected. Missed out. In that order.
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