Manchester United made up for their disappointing opening defeat to Crystal Palace with yet another impressive social media post.
The Old Trafford outfit exorcised the demons of Saturday’s 3-1 mauling by uploading a compilation video of their best goals from the Treble-winning season of 1998/99.
United fans logged onto their various social media accounts this morning hoping the club might announce 11 new signings after the latest sh*tshow served up by Ed Woodward’s boys.
The club has come under intense scrutiny from supporters for failing to sufficiently strengthen the squad during the transfer window.
However, United confounded their critics once again by posting a perfectly edited video featuring players from a successful bygone era.
Speaking exclusively to Paddy Power News, United CEO Ed Woodward said:
‘It’s genius, really’.
‘What better way to help our supporters forget about Saturday’s woeful performance than by reminding them of the most successful period in the club’s history?’
‘When your current centre backs are slower than a week in jail, why not show them a clip of Jaap Stam sprinting back to make a perfectly timed recovery tackle?’.
‘And when your current wide players couldn’t cross their fingers, why not show them a clip of Becks bending one onto Dwight Yorke’s forehead from the by-line?’
As good as it gets ☄️
— Manchester United (@ManUtd) September 16, 2020
Meanwhile, the 48-year-old former investment banker has confirmed United will most likely f**k about for another two weeks and make no more signings.
‘That’s the plan’, admitted Woodward.
‘It’s a tried and tested method which has served us well many times during my time in charge’.
‘Firstly, we make sure our interest in the player is common knowledge from the get-go. Then, allow it rumble on for months and months before Borussia Dortmund or Spurs inevitably sign the player’.
In other news, Sky Sports were forced to apologise to Wilfried Zaha for controversial comments made by Patrice Evra over false rumours regarding the winger and ex-United manager David Moyes’ daughter.
Presenter Kelly Cates said: ‘We apologise and understand it’s a completely false rumour.’
‘Everyone knows the real reason Moyes sold Zaha is because he’s a sh*te manager,’she added.
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