Reports have reached us that Frank Lampard has emptied his trophy case in preparation for the visit of Liverpool to Stamford Bridge this Sunday.
The Chelsea gaffer is keen to let Reds boss Jurgen Klopp know who’s the daddy after their late-season confrontation at Anfield in the last campaign by putting all his career honours on display during the Reds’ visit.
The Merseysiders enjoyed a 5-3 victory on their way to sealing a first league title in thirty years, but the Chelsea boss thought they’d over celebrated and was eager to put them in their place in his post-match comments.
Now, to underline that they ought to show greater respect to a four-time Premier League winner, the 43-year-old is set to wear his accumulated accolades on Sunday.
“If Jurgen wants to step to Frank in his manor, he’s gonna have a whole lot of chrome staring back at him this Sunday,” a source close to the Blues boss said.
“In fact, Frank’s got so much hardware to front up with that Jody Morris will be on the touchline with a couple of Premier League Player of the Month awards under each arm. Frank can’t carry it all.”
“If Klopp gives it the big one at the Bridge he’ll know all about it.”
When asked about Lampard’s plan, Klopp suggested his rival “has so many medals he’ll look like Flavor Flav – all that’s missing is a giant gold clock,” before bursting into tears of laughter and the pre-match press conference was ended abruptly.
And while Liverpool may be champions, the former midfielder is said to already feel like he’s got one over on his rival this Sunday by “winning the transfer window.”
“Sure, there’s not a trophy for it, but can you honestly say Chelsea didn’t smash Liverpool harder than a zombified Maggie Thatcher on a Godzilla-like rampage in the transfer window?”
“Frank’s put together a scrapbook of backpages confirming all the signings they’ve made over the summer and left it in the away changing room, just in case Klopp’s forgotten what he’s facing.”
Though, in a bid to prove he’s not just a cheque book manager, the former England international may also challenge the German coach to various tests of both physical and mental endurance before, during or after Sunday’s game.
“Frank’s been watching Shannon Briggs vids all week in the build-up to this. He’s got his ‘let’s go champ’ perfected and will take Klopp to the cleaners on lifting weights, the treadmill, beep test, anything you like.”
“And he’s also planning to test Klopp’s powers of mental endurance by offering him a drink after the game and then forcing the Liverpool manager to listen to him list all the real and perceived slights Frank has suffered throughout his career.”
“If that doesn’t break him, he might finally have earned Frank’s respect.”