Exclusive: Southgate hires Cobra Kai’s John Kreese to tame England Lions ​

That should get everyone in line

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Three Lions boss Gareth Southgate is hoping John Kreese can instil some much-needed discipline in his young England stars.

Cobra Kai founder Kreese arrived at England’s training base yesterday ahead of their Nations League group game against Denmark.

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Southgate reached out to the 74-year-old Vietnam vet as he deals with mounting disciplinary problems in his squad both on and off the pitch.

England players reported for training yesterday morning where they were introduced to the karate instructor by Southgate and his backroom staff.

Kreese immediately ordered the players to line up around the centre circle before challenging them all to a fight.

While bemused players looked at one another, Kreese reissued the challenge and adopted a fighting stance.

England manager Southgate then began calling out random squad numbers and the players charged at the ageing sensei.

Kreese felled the England stars one-by-one with an array of karate moves which left them writhing about the training pitch in agony.

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One onlooker remarked: ‘Kyle Walker took a roundhouse-right to the larynx and fell like post-lockdown Leicester down the league table’.

‘He dropped Eric Dier with a headbutt – which is no mean feat. That thing has its own weather system’.

 

‘Fair play to Jordan Pickford who tried to duke it out but it was a complete mismatch in terms of reach’.

After dusting themselves down, Kreese ordered the players to line up in rows before lecturing them on the way of the fist.

The squad spent the remainder of the session watching Kreese punch his way through a variety of things including stacked breeze blocks and flaming FA coaching manuals.

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England UEFA Nations League Winner 2020/21

Speaking exclusively to Paddy Power News after training, England skipper Harry Kane said:

‘The sensei’s come in and told the boys what it takes to be Cobra Kai. I know it’s only been one session but I overheard some of the lads say they already feel more badass’.

Asked if they’d any particular game plan for tonight’s game against the Danes, Kane roared:

‘Strike first. Strike hard. No mercy’.

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