Frank Lampard’s sensational season at the helm of Stamford Bridge looks set to continue into the Premier League awards ceremony following his nomination for the Premier League Manager of the Year accolade – and he fancies his chances of collecting the prestigious gong if he can secure the thousands of clicks he needs to top the online poll.
The first-year Chelsea gaffer’s made such a smashing impact in his first season back with his old club that many would expect him to take top honours in Premier League without the aide of any online shenanigans. Jurgen Klopp’s win of a first league title in 30 years for Liverpool pales in comparison to Lamps’ fourth-placed finish and FA Cup final defeat for many.
The nominations are in!
— Premier League (@premierleague) August 7, 2020
But, just to be sure, the Blues boss was said to be googling furiously about how to generate the necessary clicks this afternoon to get one over on his Liverpool rival.
“Frank’s still going on about that 5-3 game, how Jurgen was getting proper lairy there – Frank still says they were bang out of order,” our source at Stamford Bridge reports.
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“He had a chat with his mate Roman, who said a bot army might do the trick – I heard it swung the Brexit vote so it could swing this – but that all sounded a bit too shady, so paying £100 for 10,000 clicks to rub Klopp’s grill in it seems like money well spent.”
“After all, a horde of online clickers in an industrial estate in Shenzen may not know it was always been Lampard >>> Gerrard, but at least they’re real people, right?”
As of yet, however, Lampard had not secured the requisite votes to top the poll, though he had discovered one weird trick to lose one inch of belly fat per week.
Meanwhile, a source within Premier League HQ, whose judgment will be combined with a public vote to determine the final award, said that he expects the former England midfielder to top the poll – and possibly take the second and third spots when the final decision is made as to the winner because he’s done so well.
“Lamps has done a solid job in his debut season as Chelsea boss – so that must put him at the top of the list for us,’ he said.
“They were a shambles before he returned. They barely got third under Sarri. And all he could win with them was the Europa League.”
“I wouldn’t feed my dog out of that – and not just because she’s a Chihuahua, though that is a factor.”
“This season, Frank’s nailed down fourth and with fewer points than Sarri, and conceded 15 more goals. That means they’ve used up less energy defending and trying to win games and can tear into the Champions League restart with all the effort they’ve saved.”
“And they are 3-0 after the home leg in that, which is another tactical masterstroke because it takes all the pressure off the lads now. They can just go out and play as if the result doesn’t matter.”
“Because it doesn’t.”
Voting is open until Monday in the Premier League poll, with the award winner to be announced as soon as any trace of scepticism or doubt about Lampard’s managerial abilities can be wiped from his Teflon veneer.