Mike Ashley has stuck Newcastle United on Gumtree following the collapse of a Saudi-backed takeover of the club.
The 55-year-old posted an ad on the classifieds website in a desperate last-ditch bid to the flog the Premier League outfit. The economic ramifications of the coronavirus have left the much-loved Newcastle owner with a mere £2bn in the bank, forcing him to sell the club.
However, a proposed Saudi takeover fell through over concerns about the Investment Group’s links to notorious pirate and irreverent trickster, Captain Jack Sparrow.
Yesterday’s announcement was the latest in a series of failed bids for the Geordie outfit.
Ashley initially held talks with Quahog billionaire Carter Pewterschmidt and Scottish business magnate Scrooge McDuck, which collapsed last year.
As a last resort, the Sports Direct CEO is hoping to find a buyer on Gumtree, an online classifieds website where people can purchase secondhand sh**e or hire a dodgy plumber.
The Sports Direct CEO posted an ad on the website this morning which read:
1x football club, situated in the North East of England
Colour: Black & White
12 previous owners
Comes with full set of 28 players, although Andy Carroll is broken
£300M ONO – no time wasters please!!!
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
After posting the ad, Ashley released a statement via the club’s official website:
“Following the collapse of the Saudi takeover bid, I have decided to lump the club on Gumtree”.
“You will be delighted to know that I’ve already had several enquiries this morning”.
“A lady called Karen from Heddon-on-the-Wall would like to see some pics and will discuss it with her husband when he gets in from work later”.
“Also, a lad called Dominic from London has asked if he could come out and have a look at it before he makes an offer”.
“While I’m at it, would anyone be interested in a 12ft trampoline base? Selling for 15 quid as the trampoline got damaged in the wind”.
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