Arsenal club doctors have made a startling discovery while trying to get to the bottom of Mesut Özil’s persistent back problem.
The 31-year-old was assessed by Gunners’ medical staff after a recurring indeterminable back injury forced him out of Arsenal’s FA Cup clash with Sheffield United on Sunday.
It had been assumed that Özil’s longstanding issue was down to the lack of any backbone.
However, club doctors made an astonishing discovery during a series of tests on the German World Cup winner.
‘After years of misdiagnosing Mesut as an invertebrate, it would appear he does indeed possess a spine’, said Arsenal’s head doctor Steph O’Scope.
‘We ran an extensive set of tests including X-rays, during which the vertebral column was clearly visible’.
‘Obviously the results have come as a huge shock to everyone associated with Arsenal, including Mesut himself’.
There appeared to be no sign of a spinal column on Sunday with pictures showing the German sat folded in half in the stands while holding an umbrella during The Gunners’ 2-1 FA Cup Quarter Final victory over The Blades.
The former Real Madrid star has missed a lot of football over the past two seasons, citing a lack of backbone as the main reason.
🗞 Update on @MesutOzil1088
— Arsenal (@Arsenal) June 28, 2020
Taking to his Twitter account this morning to address the issue, Özil said:
‘Following the surprise discovery of a spine in an X-ray this morning, it would seem I have no other option but to justify my £350,000-per-week salary by resuming training’.
‘Although many feel a return to top-flight football may seriously impact upon my playboy lifestyle, I would like to take this opportunity to assure nightclub owners around the world I’m still 100% committed to their cause’.
Özil went on to suggest the probable cause of the back injury was down to carrying the Arsenal team during his first four seasons with the club.
‘It took a toll’, claimed the former Schalke 04 man.
‘Big bastards like Mertesacker and Szczęsny weighed a ton’.
Meanwhile, Arsenal fans remain unconvinced and are demanding a second opinion.
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