Levy plans to use Kane & Son in ‘life-size table football’ during lockdown

Seems entirely appropriate

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Reports are circulating that Spurs Chief Exec Daniel Levy is planning to use Spurs stars such as Harry Kane and Son Heung-min to create a life-size foosball table in a field adjacent to his house.

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The Essex-born multi-millionaire gave fans a sneak-peak of the new project with a 3D presentation posted to Spurs’ Twitter account.

‘As you can see, the players will hold onto these long revolving metallic rods which I shall operate using an i-Pad’, narrated Levy.

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‘The players will maintain a 2-metre distance between each other on the poles to adhere to current social-distancing guidelines’.

He then dropped a ball onto the table and began operating the poles while grimacing players clung on for their virtual lives.

It is rumoured Levy has also agreed to pay himself a £5M bonus upon completion of the foosball table.

And there are further reports emanating from North London club that the Tottenham supremo has instructed Jose Mourinho to take over his saved Football Manager 2020 game during the lockdown.

If it’s still going, there are probably odds on it at PaddyPower.com

The moves come after the Spurs exec reportedly considered putting his club’s non-furloughed ground staff to work cutting his grass.

The 58-year-old businessman, who paid himself a £3M bonus upon the completion of Tottenham’s new stadium, recently furloughed the club’s 550 non-playing staff.

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However, with Spurs boss Mourinho and his players still on full wages, Levy is keen to get his money’s worth during the lockdown.

The Spurs chairman is said to be an avid fan of the football-management simulation series ‘Football Manager’ and recently saved a game at a crucial point of the season.

According to various ever-reliable tabloid sources, Levy has told Mourinho he must complete the season on his behalf while the real-life Premier League remains suspended.

A source close to the club said Jose’s virtual tenure got off to a disastrous start with a 3-0 home defeated to fierce rivals Arsenal.

‘It was billed as a six-pointer’, revealed the source.

‘But a Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang hat-trick blew them away on their own patch’.

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‘After the game Jose was furious. He blamed a slow Wi-Fi connection and a sticky mouse for the defeat’, added the source.

If it’s still going, there are probably odds on it at PaddyPower.com