Social media star Paul Pogba has vowed to spend the remainder of the Premier League’s enforced break plotting new ways to piss off Manchester United supporters.
Pogba has been at home recovering from a broken heart after failing to secure a move from Old Trafford last summer.
United fans eager to catch a glimpse of their record signing have been forced to follow the midfielder on Instagram – where they’ll have recently seen him wearing a Juventus kit as he sent well-wishes to his French international colleague Blaise Matuidi.
However, many United fans online were not impressed by this gesture, with Pogba’s stats this season – 50 million p*ssed off United fans in just 300 Instagram posts – a new club record.
The French World Cup winner is hoping to continue this form until the next transfer window before absconding to Italy.
When asked if he’d any more tricks up the sleeve of his Juventus jersey, Pogba said:
‘After watching musicians perform live on Insta, tonight I’ll be singing ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ in a duet with Gerry Marsden’.
‘Tomorrow I’ll be picking my all-time Manchester City XI alongside Noel Gallagher and Carlos Tevez’.
‘And on Saturday night, I’ll be joined by Jesse Lingard. And we’ll be looking back at some of my best Manchester United haircuts over the past four years’.
Meanwhile, Pogba hopes Premier League clubs are allowed to play their remaining fixtures so he can fulfil his lifetime ambition of seeing Liverpool win the Premier League.
‘Hoisting that trophy in front of The Kop is something every boy dreams about’, said Pogba while throwing darts at a poster of Sir Alex Ferguson.
‘Maybe one day I’ll be lucky enough to play for a big club like Liverpool’, he grinned, while holding up six fingers to the camera.
However, Manchester United boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer insists Pogba will be a United player next season.
‘Paul’s got 2 years left on the treatment table with the option of a 3rd’.
‘I’m absolutely positive he’ll be pissing off our fans next season’.