Floyd Mayweather targets Santiago Muñez as first Newcastle signing

Well, he's done his research

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Floyd Mayweather has vowed to bring Mexican forward Santiago Muñez back to Newcastle United if his bid for the club is successful.

The retired boxer has previously suggested he would be interested in buying Newcastle, should current owner Mike Ashley ever get tired of tormenting the club’s supporters. After scouting Muñez in a series of videos, Mayweather believes the forward is the answer to Newcastle’s difficulties up top.

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The five-weight former world champion made the announcement while appearing at Newcastle’s O2 City Hall over the weekend during his latest attempt to keep himself relevant he 43-year-old said: ‘New-Castle soccer club is an unbelievable team’.

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‘Last night I watched a re-run of a 2005 game when they kicked Liverpool’s ass by 3 goals to 2 to qualify for the European Series’.

‘New-Castle had some of soccer’s MVPs back then with guys like Muñez, Harris and Drew on the roster’.

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‘If Mr Ashley accepts my offer, I promise the Geor-gie fanatics my first act as owner will be to bring Santiago back from Saudi Arabia’. As the crowd erupted into laughter, one audience member asked Mayweather if he’d any plans to bring the Honey Monster back to the club as well: ‘I haven’t watched the guy play but anything’s possible in soccer’, said the former welterweight champion in reference to the large hairy cereal mascot.

Meanwhile, manager Steve Bruce has welcomed the news of Muñez’s potential arrival.

Finding the net has been problematic for the St James’ Park outfit this season and Bruce believes Muñez will provide some much-needed firepower.

‘Santiago has starred in more Goals than Joelinton and Allan Saint-Maximin have scored in the Premier League this season’, revealed the 59-year-old boss.

‘I’m hoping he can help us lift a trophy these fans deserve’, he added in an attempt appease a set of supporters still dining out on the time they lifted the Texaco Cup in 1975.

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We managed to track Muñez down to a Chinese restaurant in Los Angeles where he’s working part-time as a busboy. ‘I’d rather stir-fry my feet’, remarked the 42-year-old washed-up actor when quizzed about a potential move to St James’ Park.

In other news, it’s understood Floyd Mayweather has offered to fight M Bison for a 75% share of a $1B purse, should his Newcastle takeover fall through.

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