A 42-year-old man from Bootle has written to Jürgen Klopp asking whether he could start making Liverpool win games again. The man, who signed the letter ‘Jamie C’, wrote to the 52-year-old German coach asking him to engineer a few Liverpool wins after several defeats on the spin.
‘You lost to Watford, meaning we could not be ‘Invincibles’. Being a Liverpool fan that is very sad’, Jamie C. wrote. ‘You lost to Chelsea, meaning we could not win ‘The Treble’. Because I hate those Manc b*stards, this is also very sad’.
‘So the next time Liverpool play, please make them win. Adrian shouldn’t just let the other team score. I hope I have convinced you to win the league and every other game until the end of the season, yours Jamie C’.
Astonishingly, Klopp wrote back to Jamie, saying: ‘Unfortunately, on this occasion I cannot grant your request, not with f**king Lovren in the team anyway.
‘As much as you want Liverpool to win, I’m sure you’ve noticed our squad is threadbare. We even blamed our 3-0 mauling at Watford on Jordan Henderson’s injury.
‘Luckily for you, we have won games in the past and we will win games in the future because the Premier League is sh*te this year. The problem is you think the glory years of the 70s & 80s are back but one thing I can tell you is I’ll be f*cking off in 2 or 3 years’ time and Liverpool will return to their natural league position of 8th’.
At a news conference this morning, Klopp described the fan’s letter as ‘cheeky’.
‘Cheeky, 42-years-old, which I think is an age where you should start being cheeky and spit at people. And it was smart idea. Although the spelling was atrocious’.
The man’s mother told Paddy Power News the family were shocked when an official letter from the Liverpool boss arrived: ‘Our Jamie was devastated after the Chelsea game. He took all his Liverpool posters off the wall and put them in a bin bag’.
‘He was sobbing. So we suggested he write Jürgen a letter. Never in a million years did we think Jamie would get a reply’.
In other news, a 10-year-old Irish lad has been given the freedom of Manchester today.