Manchester City fans will go back to supporting Chelsea after the club was banned from European club competition for the next two seasons by UEFA, it has emerged. The Sky Blues received the ban as well as a £25M fine after they were found to have committed ‘serious breaches’ of UEFA’s club licensing and financial fair play regulations.
In the event of a successful appeal, their punishment is likely to be reduced to a twenty quid fine and two-hours on the naughty step. City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak claims the outcome of the appeal will be the most important moment in the club’s illustrious ten-year history.
‘Without Champions League football, it will be very difficult to attract some of football’s biggest mercenaries to the Etihad stadium’, sobbed the Emirati entrepreneur while blowing his nose into a £50 note.
As well as facing a battle to keep hold of their star players and manager Pep Guardiola, it would appear the club risks losing their supporters to teams like Chelsea. 38-year-old City fan, Noel Brown, defended his decision to defect to Chelsea in the wake of UEFA’s ruling.
‘I’m not one of those City fans who jumped on the bandwagon when Pep took charge. I stuck by the club during the dark days too, like when we were spending £25M on Joleon Lescott. But this UEFA ban is the final straw and I’m going to go back to supporting Chelsea’.
‘I remember standing in the Shed End watching JT lift our first league title in 50-years. Ah’ those were the days’, he reminisced before belting out the Ivor Novello-winning ‘Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea’ song.
49-year-old footy fan Ian Gallagher says he feels like a new challenge following City’s Champions League ban and will start supporting Paris Paris Saint-Germain with immediate effect. ‘Out of pure brand loyalty, I will be mostly supporting PSG from here on in.
‘It’s nice to win every game 6-1 and be 50 points clear at the top of the table’, he beamed while revealing a fresh tattoo of the Paris outfit’s crest on his sagging man-boob.
Meanwhile, City boss Pep Guardiola has revealed the club will have to make cutbacks should UEFA’s ruling stand. ‘I’ve been told the staff canteen will only be serving two lobster-based meals per day and the waterfall feature in my office will have to go’, wept the Spaniard.