Breaking: Eric Abidal seen updating LinkedIn profile after Messi spat

Can't upset the little fella, can you?

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There has been a recent flurry of activity on the previously dormant LinkedIn profile of Barcelona’s Sporting Director, Eric Abidal.

The move comes after Abidal told a Spanish newspaper the Barcelona players were a pack of lazy b*stards.

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The remarks led to a public fallout with star player Lionel Messi and prompted president Josep Maria Bartomeu to call an emergency meeting.

Conceding that his Barca career was as good as over, the 40-year-old Frenchman reset his forgotten password and updated his LinkedIn profile for the first time in almost 4-years.

Champions League odds: City 10/3 | Liverpool 4/1 | Bayern 6/1 | Barca 13/2

The former Monaco and Lille defender spent the better part of yesterday evening on the professional networking site making himself a more attractive employment prospect.

Speaking from his villa last night, Abidal told us:

‘That’s me on the dole now’.

‘Anyone who crosses that ginger-bearded dwarf is sent packing’.

‘Zlatan, Enrique – the wee f**ker’s got them all their P45’.

After updating the likes of his work experience and education, the two-time Champions League winner cited his interests and hobbies which included, table-tennis, the works of J.K. Rowling and talking sh*te in the press.

Barcelona’s French football director Eric Abidal speaks during the official presentation of the club’s new Dutch midfielder Frenkie de Jong at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on July 5, 2019. (Photo by LLUIS GENE / AFP) (Photo credit should read LLUIS GENE/AFP via Getty Images)

Bored, he spent the remainder of the night sharing memes of quotes about friendship falsely attributed to Tupac and Tommy Shelby.

Barca president Josep Maria Bartomeu leapt to the defence of Lionel Messi this morning after the playmaker took the row to social media.

‘In Lionel’s defence, he did what any modern male would do in that situation by bitching on Instagram’, reasoned Bartomeu.

‘If WAGs like Coleen and Rebekah can air their dirty laundry on social media, then why can’t one of the greatest players in the history of the game?’, he added.

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND – MAY 07: Lionel Messi of Barcelona battles for possession with Fabinho of Liverpool during the UEFA Champions League Semi Final second leg match between Liverpool and Barcelona at Anfield on May 07, 2019 in Liverpool, England. (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Meanwhile, Abidal continued his search for employment this morning with a Facebook post which read:
‘Anyone any jobs going?’.

When informed by Gerard Pique there’s a current vacancy for a sporting director at Manchester United, Abidal responded:

‘I might be unemployed but I’m not f**king desperate mate’.

Champions League odds: City 10/3 | Liverpool 4/1 | Bayern 6/1 | Barca 13/2