Fitba Round-up: Broken Hearts, Greek Gods and David Beckham

The top-flight's still on a break, but the patter never stops


With the Premiership’s winter break appearing to last longer than Sam Allardyce’s role as England manager, the fitba is yet to get back to full capacity. Scotland doesn’t need this Premiership nonsense though, as we’re too busy getting raided by the US, reading Greek mythology lectures, having meltdowns on Twitter and laughing at Hearts (yes, still).

It was a tad moist in Scotland during the week, meaning several games were called off and many fans were left confused and contemplating the meaning of life on Saturday afternoon. Standard procedure ensures the ref or dodgy plumbing is usually blamed for the call offs, however, BSC Glasgow took a rather unique approach to pointing fingers:

The Premiership might eb on a break, but there’s plenty more football on at

Turns out that Poseidon was actually the god of the sea, earthquakes, storms and horses and it should in fact be Zeus who is referred to as a ‘dobber’. Thankfully, as Alloa’s game was also postponed, they had some time to provide a lesson in Greek mythology.

It’s always nice to see a Twitter admin having a laugh, however, it is always nicer to see an incredibly salty Twitter admin having a meltdown. For that reason, I present to you: East Stirlingshire.

Drawing 1-1 with Stirling University, any hopes they had of finishing top of the table were shrinking by the second. This was made even worse by the pesky students blatantly time-wasting:

Luckily for Shire, the tweet wasn’t made even more embarrassing by the University scoring a winner five minutes later.

Hang on, that’s exactly what happened:

Whilst on the subject of bias, we turn our attention to the legendary Commentator Tom of Rangers TV, who appears to have gotten a little carried away after their Old Firm win back in December. A hidden gem that has only just surfaced:

Look at your face, Celtic, Look at it.

Our backs are turned for five minutes – or three weeks, as the winter break is actually very long – and the US is trying to steal all the patter from the fitba. Elvis Pressley’s roots can apparently be traced back to Aberdeenshire, and now New York City FC’s history flows back to Celtic Park.

They’ve secured the Ronny Roar and next they’ll be on the phone to the local bakery ordering some macaroni pies and pizza chip sandwiches.

Also, as if that wasn’t enough, Inter Miami have approached Celtic with the view to moving Lewis Morgan across to the states. Bet you never thought that was a sentence you’d ever read.

There’s not much about a failed loan spell at Sunderland and bang average performances off the bench for Celtic that screams quality, but who are we to argue with David Beckham? Maybe when he was told of the move, Morgan thought the same thing Ray did and reckons he’s off for a kickabout in the sun:

To conclude, a lot has changed since the Premiership last witnessed a ball being kicked, but thankfully Hearts are still in crisis. This week the gaffer has dumped Christophe Berra. He’s not taken it very well, and it’s also led to this week’s da joke:

Another messy divorce which can be celebrated at East End Park…

Have a wee bet on the fitba at

What do you think?